DISARRAY (Niall Horan A.U)

Chapter 71

"Ew. Don't say make love." Its weird when he says that.

"Why? We are in love so it is making love," Niall explains.

"Sex is just sex. There are never any feelings other than lust involved." I immediately feel like I'm being too honest.

"You are wrong. Sex can be more than just lust and how it feels. It can show someone how much you love them." Poor Niall is delusional.

"Niall, I think we both know that I have had a lot of sex and I can promise you that no one has had sex with me just to show me how much they love me. It is always pure lust." Sex and love don't mix.

"That's because you haven't had sex with me." Niall looks over at me. "Let me show you what it can be like."

"You have waited so long. You shouldn't do it with me just to prove me wrong." I would gladly do it with Niall, but I want to make sure he won't regret it.

"Jess, it's not like I'm a virgin and besides I know you are the only person I'm supposed to be with so it's fine if we don't wait." Niall leans in close.

"Are you sure?" Niall simply nods his head yes. "Okay, well just let me know if you want to stop."

Niall smirks at me. He is clearly amused at how I'm treating this. To me it's just sex. It isn't going to be special or mean anything. The only way that it's going to be different is that I'm having sex with someone who isn't experienced. In all honesty, the sex probably isn't going to be all that great. I'm not worried though. You can teach someone how to be good in bed.

I lean into Niall and our lips touch. The fireworks in my stomach go off like normal. Niall softly kisses me and I let him take the lead. Niall grabs my hand and holds it while we kiss. It's a sweet sediment, but after ten minutes of just making out. I detach my lips from Niall's lips and move my lips to below his ear. I then kiss down his neck. I go back up his neck to his lips. I softly bite his lip and that seems to get Niall more aware of what's happening. He pulls me on top of him as he lays down. As I straddle him I bring my hands up to his hair. The longer Niall and I kiss the more confident Niall becomes. I feel him playing with the the bottom of my shirt. I sit up and pull off my shirt. I'm glad that I don't have a tank under my shirt. It always makes the process longer. Once my shirt is off I watch as Niall stares at me. I smirk as I drop my shirt to the ground. Part of me feels bad for Niall, because he has to be figuring out that this is just lust. I then grab Niall's shirt and pull up and over his head. I reach behind my back to unhook my bra, but Niall stops me.

"Let me do it." Niall grabs my hand and moves it away from my back.

He sits up and brings his hands to my back. I sit quietly as Niall tries to unhook my bra. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. Niall struggles a little more and then eventually gets my bra unhooked. I watch as Niall leans out, but instead of looking at my chest he kisses me. He kisses me with so much passion and love that I hesitate for a moment. When Niall starts to leave a trail of kisses down my neck I realize how wrong I am. We haven't even had sex and I can notice how different this sex is. Niall is kissing me softly, but with so much passion. Each one of his touches are gentle and remind me of how much he loves me. I'm sitting here topless and he hasn't tried to look. Niall is just focused on us. I pull Niall closer to me so our chests are pressed together. Niall's muscles tighten up at the contact, but he soon relaxes. Niall's hands move to my waist and he stays still. He is waiting for me to make the next move.

"What do you want to do Niall?" I want him to make the next move. I got us topless. It's his turn.

"I, um, uh." Niall glances down nervously and he remembers that I'm topless and he looks up. He is so nervous that I laugh. "This isn't funny. I have no clue what I'm doing. I have had sex with one girl and we didn't do it enough for me to get good. I don't know what I want to do next. Do I rip off your pants and go down on you?"