3:07 am

34 2 11
                                    

 Baam! 

          You wake up in a cold sweat, panting heavily. Your eyes are still groggy from the deep slumber you were just in, altering your vision slightly. Something had woken you up, and you weren't sure what it was. All you remember was hearing a certain sound effect--

"Y/N!" Saeyoung shouts, towering over you, not seeming to care about the time. 
"Oh, Seven. What are you doing up so early?" you ask, not fully aware of the time yet, "It's pretty early, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's early. It's very early, actually. About that, it's three in the morning," your boyfriend mutters, slightly regretful of waking you up so abruptly and so early in the morning. 
"Three in the morning!? You look awful, too. Were you working out, or something? You're drenched in sweat!" You exclaim, jolting out of bed, violently. Had he gone mad? 

          Saeyoung sits down on the bed next to you, scooting closer to you gradually. He looked as if he had done something wrong, or as if someone had done him wrong. You couldn't really tell, but either way, something was up with him. It must have been important, too, he would never normally do this to you. He knows how much you appreciate the fine arts of sleep. 
          With a tired stare, your boyfriend lets out a sigh, covering his flushed face with his hands. You couldn't tell whether or not he was embarrased or just really warm, and it bothered you. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with him? That's all you wanted to know at that point in time. It irks you because you know something is wrong but you simply can't put your finger on it. Maybe he was ill, or something upset him in his sleep. 
"I wasn't working out. Nobody should work out at this hour, haha," Saeyoung nervously laughs, rubbing his sweaty neck with his hand. 
"Seven, you're scaring me, now that you won't tell me what's wrong. Please, honestly, did something happen to you? It's really early, you know, I'm worried," you plead, giving him a stare he couldn't ever, and wouldn't ever, refuse. He had to tell you now, or he'd feel guilty not doing it. 
"Don't look at me like that. Don't you dare," he sternly responds, the helplessness in his eyes running away. His amber pools looked complicated, or complex. It always looked like he was hiding a story in those eyes of his, coated in golden lies and sugarcoated quotes. 
"Tell me what's wrong, then! Tell me, so I can help you! You woke me up for a reason, right?" you shout, taken aback by your own shouting. Had that been too much? 

         Saeyoung sighs again, looking into your eyes with the same helplessness as before. There was something about his damn eyes that made you want to melt. He knew just how to get to you with every single stare, every single glance. He could look at you with no emotion whatsoever and your heart would flutter. 
"I'm feeling upset again," he finally blurts out, "really, super, extremely upset. You know?" Saeyoung crawls next to you, spooning you as tight as he can without hurting you. You knew exactly what he meant by 'really, super,  extremely' upset. He was having one of his episodes again. It broke your heart every time he would fall into one of those. 
"Oh, Saeyoung," you sigh, allowing him to hug you as tight as he sees necessary. 
"It's okay. It's not that bad. I'm just upset again, is all. There's nothing to be concerned about," he continues, denying the severity of his mental state. 
"I would think otherwise," you reply in a whisper, saddened by your boyfriend's words. 
"No, Y/N, don't think that way. Please, don't think that way. Okay?" Saeyoung begs, hugging you noticeably tighter. It breaks your heart, but you need to stand your ground, you think to yourself. You can't allow him to treat himself like that.
"Saeyoung! I hate when you think of yourself like garbage. It's upsetting. It makes me upset. Just like you're upset right now," you turn around to bury your face into his chest, "I need you to tell me everything there is to know. I want to help you and I want you to talk to me. Please, Luciel?" Luciel. Luciel, you never called him Luciel. It was always Seven, or Saeyoung. You never used Luciel, it reminded you of another mask he put on his face. Luciel.  Why did you say Luciel? It was so shocking, it even took him aback. Or, maybe it was what you said. 
"Y/N, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you up. I knew you'd react this way," he says, before being cut off by you,
"React how? Caring, and genuine? Please, I want to talk to you. I want to help."
"Help. You want to help," he smiles, even though you can't see it. "Thank you, Y/N, but you can't make all the problems go away."
"I can make them more bearable," you tell him, without a second thought. 

         Saeyoung pauses. He doesn't just pause his words, but his breathing, his blinking patterns, and his movements. At that moment, he was a statue. Often, he forgets how much you really care for him. It's been so long since he's felt it, he almost forgot the complete feeling of love and care. It's sad, you think, but it's how he lives. He's used to this, you think. One can be used to the heat of the desert, but nobody will ever grow to love the feeling. 
"Y/N, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be pushing you away like this," Saeyoung whispers, placing his cheek on the top of your head. 
"It's not your fault, I understand. You're okay," you humm, rubbing his back as he hugs you again. 
"I love you. I do, I really do."
"I love you too, Seven," you reply, smiling, even though he can't see it, "are you ready to tell me what's wrong, now?" 
"Yes."

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