where i belong

-7-

Chapter Seven

    It was hours upon hours later and the rest of the friend group was getting ready for a party. Instead of pizza night like Sam suggested, Jake insisted on having a huge party like the old trap house days. I haven't been to one since the night I met Colby, so this should be interesting. I don't know if it was jet leg, sleep deprivation, or both, but Colby and I slept up until an hour before the party.

    I put on a tight black dress and some nice high heels. Then, I did my makeup and straightened my hair. I figured I should try to look good for this party seeing as I could just run up to Colby's room and put on comfy clothes whenever I was done socializing. Colby just wore a usual casual outfit and called it a day. I painted his nails a forest green which was a new color for him. He slipped on a couple of rings afterwards including the skull one I got him years ago for Christmas. I still wear my locket and ring he got me up to this day.

    When we got downstairs, the house was already starting to fill up like mad. Colby walked over to Jake, and I followed close behind.

    "I'm getting shit faced," Jake said, downing three shots of god knows what right off the bat.

    "Me too brother," Colby replied, following his lead. I rolled my eyes. Great, I'm going to be a baby sitter for all the roommates tonight.

    As the party went on, I sipped lightly on a wine cooler as I walked around the floor keeping an eye out for everybody. The only other person that wasn't completely drunk out of their minds was Reggie. I'm pretty sure that's only because Cassie started drinking already and one of them had to drive both home. He wasn't really paying much attention to the party itself, more so just keeping to himself. When Reggie has alcohol influence, he can be the life of the party. Without that influence though, he just gets annoyed at all the drunk people really quickly. I'm pretty used to being surrounded by drunk idiots because whenever Colby drinks, he can act like the dumbest human possible. I swear to god that guy has no brain function with alcohol in his system. He doesn't think at all normally. Add alcohol? You can only imagine.

    I went to the kitchen to grab a slice of pizza and a water bottle from the fridge. I was about to take a seat on an empty space on the counter when I heard commotion coming from the backyard. At first I didn't care much for it until I heard my name getting dropped.

    "Leslie better come get her man before I do!" I heard some high pitched voice shout followed by a loud laugh. My eyes nearly popped out of my socket and I'm pretty sure I sprained my ankle sprinting to the backyard in heels.

    When I walked outside, the girl—who I assumed was yelling—was leaning against the house, Colby's arm propped above her as he hovered over her. I stood there, just watching them interact. He was smiling, she was laughing. Nothing more than just talking happened so far but I felt insanely hurt by the whole ordeal. I didn't know what to do. I could just sit here and watch the scene unfold. I could go upstairs and assume the worst. I could shove him into the pool away from that girl. Although they were awfully close, I didn't want to be that clingy girlfriend that doesn't let him talk to girls. But I didn't want to just sit here and watch my boyfriend cheat on me. I didn't want to stop him though if that's what he planned on doing. I don't want to be dating someone that cheats on me.

    I couldn't rip my eyes away from the two of them. Tears pricked my waterline and it felt like the room was spinning. It was like everyone around me disappeared because I was only focused on those two. I couldn't stand seeing it anymore. Something took over my mind and I stomped my way over to the two of them.

    I pushed my hands against Colby's chest and lightly shoved him away from her. The girl started laughing whereas Colby smiled at me, almost forgetting completely what he was doing beforehand.

    "Hi baby!" He exclaimed. I just stood there, staring at him with hurt in my eyes. I don't think he fully grasped what was going on. Leave it to the alcohol.

    "Did you have intentions to cheat on me?" I whispered, not wanting to make a scene. Not that I had it in me to yell anyways.

    "What? I—No!"

    I nodded, the first tear streaming down my cheek. He looked puzzled and tried to reach out to me to hold my cheek, but I took a step back.

    "Maybe you need to sober up and reevaluate yourself, Cole. If you're getting bored of me, just say it. But don't sit here and flirt with someone you don't even know in front of me."

    "Leslie, I—It, I—" He continued to try and reach for me, grabbing my hand, face, anything he could touch. I took two steps backwards, not giving in that easily.

    "I'm going to bed, please leave me alone," I replied quietly, turning and fast walking away. I kept my head down until I left the majority of the crowd. When I got upstairs, I changed into a pair of sweats and a short sleeved tee shirt before heading to Kevin's room. I knew Colby's first instinct was going to come looking for me and I knew he'd give up when he sees that I'm not in his room. When he's drunk, he doesn't try too hard. I don't think I want him to come looking for me right now anyways. I need space. I wasn't going to break up with him; he did nothing wrong. It's just my mind wandering to the "what if's". What if I didn't approach them? Would he have cheated?

    When I opened the door to Kevin's room, I turned on the light to see no one in here. I closed the door lightly behind me and collapsed onto the couch in his room. I played on my phone for a good half hour until it died. By that time, I just stared at the wall and let my mind roam. It wasn't very healthy and I probably should've just tried sleeping.

    The thing that kept me awake was the thought of Colby and I breaking up. I thought we were okay. However, I feel like he's not as into me as he used to be. If he loved me as much as I loved him, he wouldn't have been leaning all over that girl tonight, even with alcohol in his system. If he wants to break up, I'll respect it. My heart will be completely shattered, but I love that boy so much that I just want him to be happy. And if that's not with me, then so be it.

    "I may mean the world to him, but you are his world," I heard Sam's voice in my mind that night in the car back in New York. I sighed and turned over towards the back of the couch. I wonder if Colby will even remember this in the morning. I hope to God he does because he can't just wake up believing everything is okay when it's not.