rockstar | c. baker

forty - better together

amanda
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despite all of my actions these past few weeks, i think i know what i want.

i just don't know what is right..

i've been thinking about it a lot on the drive to colson's place.

i guess the discussion will determine where we stand.

i pull into the long driveway, and parked my car before walking up to the front door.

as i rang the doorbell, my heart raced thinking of the events to come.

the door opened slowly, revealing rook standing behind it.

oh great, this is going to be a long day.

"amanda, what are you doing here?"
asking he pulls me into a hug then lets me into the house.

"i came to talk to colson.. clear the air."
stretching the truth a bit, i tell him.

"oh? am i gonna be single after this conversation?"
asking he gives me slightly worried eyes.

"well, we're just seeing where things go right now."
replying i flash a warm smile to reassure him.

"okay, well he's in his room."
leaving me, he goes into the kitchen.

i walk up the stairs, and down the hall until i reach colson's door.

to which i knock on softly.

"come in."
his voice speaks from the inside.

opening the door slowly, my eyes wander before landing on the blonde sitting on the bed.

"hey.."
i start, closing the door behind me.

"hey."

he has a blank stare on his face, almost as if he's completely out of it.

"so, you ready to talk?"
asking him i set my purse down on his dresser.

"ready as i'll ever be."
he sits up, patting the bed beside him, gesturing for me to sit.

doing as he asks, i sit down next to him, making sure to keep my distance.

"so what's on your mind?"
he asks me.

a lot of shit.

"i just want things to be normal again. but they can't be normal after all that's happened."
i start to explain what i'm feeling.

"i feel the same."

"we were always fighting, or arguing about something and you were always blaming me. which wasn't always the case. a relationship is 50/50."

"yes but you would always be mad if i went out with friends, or had drinks, or went to parties."

"because i wanted to be with you and spend time with you. but you always had better things to be doing. i felt like a complication in your plans."

"you were never a complication! i just wanted to have fun with friends once in a while. you were always going out with stassie."

"i know, but after london. i always had doubts about infidelity. then finding out you were hooking up with ashely for the whole first weeks of our relationship just fueled those doubts."

"i was an idiot. i didn't know what i had and i fucked it up. i tried to apologize but when you told me you slept with rook, it felt like someone stabbed me in the chest."

"i know what i did was wrong, but i only cheated because i wasn't feeling important. then he told me about you and ashley and i just lost it."

"well we worked through that. we over came it and we were doing so well. what happened?"