Two Worlds Will Collide (Young Justice The Runaways fanfic)

Remorse

Ok, so I hate school... like A LOT!!
I'm so, so, so sorry for how long this damned thing took and for the fact that only one chapter will be published today.
I had four tests last week all of which were one right after the other, every single day so I was super busy... failing.
I've been writing this chapter since last week's Saturday and I finally, just NOW finished it.
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A pen and a blank book... those were the two things that sat in front of me, resting neatly on the dining room table just waiting for the words to start flowing. 'Write something. Write anything.'

This wasn't new, nor was it surprising. No, all this was, was nostalgic. All that me trying to writing did was leave a small seed of nostalgia in the pit of my stomach. I knew what I wanted to be said, but I just didn't know how to translate it into an actual word currency.

Sighing profoundly, I grabbed the pen and opened the book. Taking the pen and hovering it over a random blank page, I stopped just inches away. 'Just write something, a random word will do.' Blinking in annoyance, I watched my hand forcefully collide the pen with the paper, scribbling down random words.

Sadness

Fear

Pain

Annoying

Melancholy

Nostalgia

Death

Boring

Friendship

Betrayal

I miss you...

When I finally caught sight of the words that were pressed firmly onto the paper, I stopped dead in my tracks and took them all in. They either had to do with how I felt or with things that happened... during these past months... 'Wow... I really am... pitiful...'

I didn't pay attention to the words that were being spat out in my direction, or at least, I maintained that facade... until I no longer could.

I stared at Tye, not daring to look away as the Argentinian boy's words hit me repeatedly. They felt like a slap in the face, given by the harsh truth of reality.

"We know how you feel! But if you keep acting this way you might as well be dead! It'll pretty much be the same thing!"

Breathing deeply, I fought back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I knew he was right... I knew there was no use in denying it or in trying to give myself reason, but I couldn't stop the feelings and the thoughts that overtook all of my senses... that tried their hardest to remind me of everything... that took pleasure in telling me that this was my reality.

I felt stupid for feeling this way. I knew some people had it harder; people who went through worse things than me... It was probably selfish of me to even feel this way... but this wasn't my choice, and even if it was... I didn't know how to take it back...

Drawing the pen back, I stopped writing once more. Though, this time, unlike the last, they weren't just loose words that floated around the paper, disconnected from each other. They all stood together, setting the events that took place not even one day ago in stone.

Taking a deep breath, I resumed my writing, slowly and shakily imprinting the inky words into the paper as a method of cooperation with my own doubts and thoughts.

Once Ed noticed that I was ignoring him, he continued. "We know that it hurts! But that's no reason to treat yourself like that!! Starving yourself and ignoring us isn't going to help! It's just going to make things worse and make you look and sound more pitiful."

Looking up at the Argentinian boy, I felt a lump form itself in my throat as his words hit me. "I... I'm sor-" Before I even had time to react, the words were already running out my mouth, causing more pain to shoot up my throat.

"And don't apologize for how you feel either! It's not like it's your fault that you feel the way you do! But it is your fault that you still feel like that. You're not doing anything to make yourself feel better! You've just been sitting there looking... destruida... for the past week!"

"Hey, man... uh..."

Ignoring Virgil's attempt at getting the tension in the air to go away, he continued. "Some of us have had it just as hard as you... and believe me, everything that you're doing... building up walls, ignoring us, running from your problems and this reality... it won't help... it'll just make it worse..." Brushing Virgil's hand off his shoulder, Ed turned his back to us and left.

That's when I realised what he meant. Everyone in our group has gone through hell, be it before or after our abduction, and it was selfish of me to react the way I did when they've been trying their very hardest to help me even though they, themselves, are still fighting against their own turmoils of emotions and traumas.

His words made me feel selfish, bothersome and guilty. I've helped put the others through hell, rejecting their offers of help and ignoring them, making it look like I didn't care or need their help when, in reality, it was the complete opposite.

"Hana?" Asami's voice flew into my ears as she tried to get my attention, but I didn't budge. My eyes focused solemnly on the colourful scenario outside the window as the sunset, running away into its peaceful slumber, and I made no move to pry them away from the scene that unfolded before my eyes. "Anata wa, nini no yori yoi kanjimasu ka? (Do you feel any better?)" With my head still turned away from her, I pushed my legs further into my chest as my arms' grip around them tightened.

She stood there for a few more minutes, hoping that I'd turn around and answer. Asami didn't like being forceful, and she'd back down if she felt like she was intruding which she wasn't... the only problem was that I didn't want to talk. All I wanted was to be left alone. Alone to think about everything... just think...

I know that I'm not going to be alright any time soon, but, at the very least, I can try to cooperate with them and accept their help. 'Actually talking to them, sounds like a good place to start...' I was going to try it... tomorrow...

Placing the pen down inside the book, I closed it and pushed my chair back, and with a disheartened grunt, I shakily hoisting myself up onto my feet.

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"You're good at writing, aren't you?"

"I mean, I guess so... why?"

With a loud groan, he dropped his head onto his hands. "This is going to sound so cheesy."

His answer piqued my curiosity, and with my brows furrowed and a taunting smile on my face, I looked at him. "What?"