To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝙰 𝙻𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚜 ✆

Groot
I am Groot

Uh, what'd he say
I don't speak Groot yet

Quill
Hell no, I'm the superior Peter because I'm older

Peter
YOU THINK FOOTLOOSE IS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE

Thor
He said hello

Wild. Thanks Thor!

Drax
It's the pirate angel

Quill
THATS BECAUSE IT IS, YOU PESK

Peter
YOUR OPINION IS INVALID

Gamora
Inferior Peter, shut up

Quill
But babe he's insulting me

Should I tell him?

Rocket
Go ahead, human girl

Ok then...
HEY, INFERIOR PETER! YOU'RE ALREADY INSULTING YOURSELF BY CALLING YOURSELF STAR-LORD

Quill
How could you, random Earth girl that I have never met nor heard of before

Nebula
She's right

Groot
I am Groot

Thor
It's true, you did insult yourself when you tried to imitate me

Hello everyone, I have a name. Please use it

Quill
I refuse

Gamora
I'll go back to being dead if you continue acting like that

Nebula
Dump his ass

Mantis
Hi!! 😊😊

Pure

Drax
How can one be pure? There are microorganisms all around

Peter
Oblivious

Groot
I am Groot

Rocket
No, we're not going to turn around and head toward Terra so you can meet (Y/n)

Aw I want to meet you too, Groot
I want to be a tree whisperer

Peter
Like the Lorax

Mantis
Is he another Avenger?

Peter
Nah. He's this snazzy little orange dude