Stephanie Foster

11. When My Past And Present Collided

Recap
"No first your going to tell me why my hair is white, and why my whole room is covered in ICE!" I yelled at them, now taking in that my room looked like a giant snowball. No let me rephrase that, It WAS a giant snowball. "Ok will you stop yelling if we tell you?" Uncle Tam asked, I nodded I wante- no needed answers right now, or I was going to lose it. This should be good. I thought to myself, as they sat me down on my bed and went to knee level with me."Stephanie, your not human." I looked at them as if they were aliens. Playing along I asked, "oh ok, then what am I then hmm? A goblin?" They exchanged glances before they spoke,
"your an elf."
End of recap

Stephanie's P.O.V

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. I couldn't stop thinking about what they said, "your an elf" they said it so sternly! As if they actually believed it! Then the sobbing started, my parents are crazy. They would have to take meds end-to-end and.. I gulped trying not to think of what would happen to me if they were really, truly, crazy.

I was a hurricane of emotions, I needed comfort, and not from the people who were making me act this way. I needed darkness, shadows, I needed my closet. Yes! My closet! That was where I would always go to cool off, to get comfort. And that's what I needed right now, comfort, And to be alone. But of course my closet was on the other side of the room, and if course my kooky parents were holding me up like a roped animal.

I sobbed, and snuggled, and then regreted it. And then went back. I couldn't control my emotions, my greatest fear was taking action. I would end up alone, and unloved. I would be unwanted.

While my aunt and uncle would suffer, I would be alone. Alone, I cried harder than ever before, not even knowing where all my tears were coming from. Something snapped in my heart, I wailed at the pain. The pulsing ran through my body like a knife, slowly but painfully ripping me apart. I felt something change in me, darken.

Darkness, I thought.
I could feel it,
I needed it,
and it needed me.

I pulled towards it, it comforted me, whispering everything was going to be okay, as if it was not only a figment of my imagination. Like it was real.

I pulled more around me, trying to num the pulsing in my heart, or was it my heart? It didn't feel like it anymore, but it wasn't my head. And come to think of it, I couldn't even feel my head. It was all black, cold dark black. All I saw was shadows, welcoming me, waiting for me. Securing me, chanting I would be okay, that it was there for me.

"Stephanie!" My uncle called, almost as if he was following me into the shadows, diving into my abyss. Yanking me back to reality, but I resisted, I wasn't ready for reality, I wasn't ready for more abandonment. I dove deeper sealing a doorway it didn't even know was there, pushing him out, I dove deeper and deeper until I found myself in a dark room, a black hole.

I heard a whisper in the abyss,
Stephanie, dear sweet Stephanie. Why do you cry? Why do you anger?
It sang in a sweet voice. Enchanting me to reply, and I did.
I- I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be unloved.
I whispered back, giving in to the madness. Be crazy for all I care, as long as I'm not alone.
But you don't have to be, there's another way my dear.
It told me, drawing me closer with each step.
T-there is?
I asked, not sure why I did. I didn't trust it, with my heart but my head did and it was stronger.
Yes my darling, all you have to do is embrace the Change, give in to the darkness. I promise follow me all you'll never be alone again.
It told me.
Never?
Still not sure why I was trusting it, my heart tried to pull away, wanting to run away from whatever was pulling it back. But I wasn't in control, not anymore.

It was concealing me in assurance, telling my heart to trust it, and it gave in, and against my will, I gave in.
Come with me my little Phoenix, be reborn into the light.
Phoenix? Why- memories can hurling back in a storm, one that changed my life. I centered myself on it, never wanting to let it go. Climbing deeper, deeper, deeper into the memory. Ordering it to stay put, not ever leaving it's side.
NO Stephanie, Don't go that way! Come here, be with me. You don't need them! You don't need the light!
It warned,
yes, yes I do.
Was all I whispered back as a dove into the memory, running away from the feeling of the control, running away from what I now knew, was a Beguiler.

And it almost had me to, and I almost failed project Phoenix. I had almost failed the entire Elf kind, I had almost failed the councilors.
I had almost failed,
my Mom and Dad.

So how'd you like it? and be honest how much are you freaking out right now!?! On a scale of 1-10 I'm a 10!
Thank you for reading and I'll go back to my writing!
Thank you!
And remember if you murder me I can't write.

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