Started With a Lie

Chapter Sixty-One

Heads begin to turn with widening eyes and the doctor and nurses rush over to me.

They start speaking and I am so busy trying to speak that I don't listen to what they are saying. Immediately, the nurses run to each of my side checking the machines around me and begin checking my eyes with a light. They scramble for a couple minutes, checking all of the logistical parts of me. The doctor says something and they step back.

The doctor moves closer to me, sticking her face closer to mine as she leans over me. Her eyes are hazel, her hair dark and curly in the way that my own hair looks when it's humid and raining out. The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth soften her appearance and she makes me want to trust her.

"Hello, Ivory," she speaks, her voice deeper and older. Her voice reminds me of my own mother's. For some reason, the thought of my mother brings me a hot striking pain to my heart. I open my mouth to respond. "Don't speak," she instructs. "You need water first and don't strain yourself in general. Just nod. Okay?" She waits until I nod. "Can you drink some water for me?"

I nod again.

One of the nurses brings me a tiny plastic hospital cup and she pours water from a pitcher near my bedside. I try to stand up, but I can't. In return, the nurse presses her hand to the back of my head to lift me slightly up to the cup. I open my mouth and she slowly pours. The first gulp almost hurts, as if the dryness of my throat scratches upon itself. Eventually, the cool water feels like the best thing in the world and I keep nodding for more cups.

"How do you feel?" the doctor asks, her coat reads Katya Holman M.D.

I nod because I do feel better.

"Okay," Doctor Holman says, sighing in relief. "I know you must be very confused right now. You must be in some pain. Let me explain everything slowly, okay?"

Another nod.

"Alright." She pulls a chair nearby and sits by my bed, making us leveled. This is definitely some psychological training to make me more comfortable. It's working. "You have two broken ribs. Fractured wrist. Some internal bleeding that we've taken care of. Many, many bruises. And god knows how much trauma."

I smile, almost laughing at the joke but then I realize how messed up my body and mind is currently. I feel overwhelmed suddenly, trying to piece back my memories. I'm trying to remember coming into the city. Lee's birthday party. The news about my mother. It all happened so extremely fast. What exactly happened?

The machine next to me begins to make a loud, annoying noise as it beeps nonstop. Along with it, without my realization, my heart had begun to pound against my chest. Sweat suddenly seemed to be on my forehead. The room is small, too small. I just want to disappear. Nurses re-enter the room, looking frantic.

"Ivory," Holman says. "Ivory. Don't overwork yourself. Please focus on my voice. Listen to my voice." She

standing, trying to work with the machines. "You are having a panic attack. Please follow my voice. Listen to what I am saying." She holds my hand. "Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You've been through a lot. You're okay. You're safe. We are going to take it day by day."

I try to breathe, I really do. Everything just feels suffocating. I've never felt this in such an intensity. Every thought propels me into the next scary one.

"Count to ten. Slowly."

I do. 10, 9, 8...

"Breathe. Breathe."

7, 6, 5...4...3...2...1.

The numbers are tangible to me, like I can hook myself to the cliff I'm slipping so quickly off of. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'll figure out everything slowly.