The Past Catches Up

Chapter 5

"When did you first meet Ian?" Dr. Gibbard asked as he quickly scribbled something onto his clipboard.

"Um, it was around sixth grade. We had science together. Look, I don't see how this has anything to do with me and Kalel," Anthony said slightly irritated.

"Anthony, please," Kalel hissed. "This is very important to our relationship."

So far they had gotten past the awkward introduction phase, talked about themselves and their relationship for a while, and yet the most awkward part hadn't even come up yet.

Secretly, Anthony was dreading it. He really didn't want to deal with that chapter of his life with anyone other than Ian because it wasn't any of their business and Kalel's probing questions after the whole ordeal weren't helping at all one bit. She didn't get much out of him, only that he ended the relationship between them because he claimed to be straight. It was a simple answer. Too simple for her though. Anthony was able to stop her from asking any more questions, but in lieu of prying further herself, she now has a therapist taking her place, Anthony realized.

The doctor pushed up the frames of his glasses and cleared his throat. "You claim to be best friends with Ian so Ian must be important to you then?"

"Well we've been friends for a long time, so yeah," Anthony answered.

"There's something more you should know," Kalel interrupted. Anthony groaned, knowing exactly what she was referring to even though it was only inevitable it would come up.

"It's pretty much the reason we're here," Kalel said a little hesitantly. She didn't look at Anthony at all when she spoke, like she was afraid of what his reaction might be.

"Go on," Dr. Gibbard coaxed, making a motion with his hand.

Anthony just wanted to curl up and die, but the closest he could do was bring a hand to his forehead.

Why are you doing this to me, Kalel? Just stop. The past is the past.

He forced himself not to physically show any more negative feelings as she went on, keeping in the frustrated sigh he was about to let out.

"The other night… we were at a party and Ian got drunk and started talking to me…"

She was reluctant to go on as the memories from that night started to flash in her mind.

The doctor seemed very interested at this point. "Mmh hmm," he pressed on with peaked interest.

Kalel opened her mouth to continue but Anthony abruptly cut in. "Ian and I were in a relationship, okay? It was a long time ago and he told her when he was completely..." He wanted to say shit faced but sought a less vulgar set of words for the doctor, "...Very drunk. But it's over and it's been over for years. We've learned to cope with the past and put it behind us and live and work together as friends."

Might as well get it all out in the open now instead of beat around the bush.

The room grew quiet as Anthony finished his confession. Kalel didn't dare speak or look at him, but he could feel how tense she felt even without sneaking a glance. Doctor Gibbard didn't look surprised at all, like he expected this.

"I see," he stroked his beard in thought, breaking the silence. "And how long were you and Ian in a relationship?"

Anthony shifted in his seat but couldn't get comfortable. "About five months..." He mumbled distantly.

"Were you in love with him?"

Anthony looked down at his hands and didn't respond. There was a tense silence in the room as he hesitated then he suddenly looked up as though something had struck him and firmly replied. "No. I never saw him as more than a friend. We were just... experimenting."

He was staring right into Doctor Gibbard's eyes as he said this, standing a litter straighter than before and confidently holding his ground with the most serious look he could muster. A complete turnaround from the cheerful, jokingly fun man he usually was.

The doctor stared at him. Hard.

Anthony felt his confidence almost dwindle but caught himself before he thought anyone could notice. He felt like a child whose mother was accusing of taking cookies from the jar.

"Okay," he finally said after what seemed like ages. He scribbled some more notes and only the sound of his pen on clipboard could be heard. "Five months is a long time to be in that type of relationship, Anthony," he noted, but not in an accusatory way. Anthony didn't respond. The doctor turned to Kalel, much to Anthony's relief that he was no longer under scrutiny, but also horror that his own girlfriend was talking to a man they just met about his past sexual encounters with his best friend. Anthony suddenly felt anger rush through him that this was happening. Undirected anger at everyone, especially Ian, the man who was ruining the best thing that ever happened to him. He clenched his fists and tried to calm down.

He felt like he couldn't stay mad at him though. It was honestly a legitimate mistake on his part and he did apologize after all.

The doctor went on to ask Kalel about that night and she went over in excruciating detail how she felt, how at first she didn't believe him. Everything, like she was on a witness stand in court. Anthony felt sick to his stomach like he was in a bad dream that just wouldn't end.

He sat through the whole thing regardless, waiting for it to be over and giving as little information than needed as possible. Anthony could be a pretty straightforward guy, but for some reason talking about that part of his life was just too personal, even with Kalel.

She had bombarded him with questions and accusations that left him feeling extremely uncomfortable. She couldn't see how two people could stay friends after a relationship, probably, Anthony assumed, because she never had to before. Apparently the phrase "I think we should just be friends" was impossible to maintain in her mind.

I managed to do it. Why can't she see the truth; that I never loved Ian.

Something suddenly swept through him, like a dizzying blast of hot wind from behind. It was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that felt familiar yet hidden and it caught him off guard. There was nothing he could do to stop it but he used all his power to.

I need to get out of here

"Listen, we have a lot of stuff to do so if we could cut this meeting short I would really appreciate it, Doc."

Surprisingly Dr. Gibbard seemed to agree. "Alright. I can tell you too are eager to leave, so I'll leave you two to your busy Internet lives. I'm very glad we were able to get to know each other and I hope to see you again."

Kalel smiled as they stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you so much, Doctor. It's truly been a pleasure."

"Likewise." He shook Anthony's hand and began leaving.

When they got in Anthony's car and started driving back home, Kalel turned to him.

"I think that went well."

Anthony made a light "Hmph," sound and kept driving.

The rest of the drive was quiet for the most part.

He needed to be alone to think. Something in his mind was trying to make itself known and he didn't have the time or the patience to deal with it. Not now, or ever.