I Promise

Chapter 21

In the past few weeks, I've been doing anything and everything I can do to get better marks in school. Somehow I've been doing well, getting my school work and homework done. With the help of Jack and some of my friends, I've been able to get the work back to school, as well as get notes from my classes.

Now it has been about eight and a half months. I don't know how I'm doing it, but I must be doing well because Jack walks into the room and announces,

"I have good news!"

"What is it?" I ask. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, and as he answers, Jack sits down next to me.

"He said that once you take the exams he believes that you'll be able to graduate," he says. "That is, if you do well on the exams."

"That's wonderful!" I exclaim. "I'll be able to go to graduation!"

"Are you sure you want to?" Jack asks. He sounds worried as he adds, "It will be long and you'll be almost nine months pregnant by the time you graduate."

"I know it will be difficult," I say, "But I would love to graduate with you."

"You're mad if you think your mother would let you," Jack says. "By that time I doubt she'd even let you leave the house."

"I don't care," I say. "I'm going to go either way."

"I guess you are mad, then," Jack says and I laugh.

The laughter doesn't last long, however, because after this Jack says,

"There are only a few weeks left."

My laughter quickly fades along with my smile as I realize that he's right.

"I think it's actually less than that," I reply. "It could be weeks or it could be days. We don't really know."

"Please don't say that," Jack says, looking down. I don't know how to respond, so I don't.

When I begin hearing a soft humming noise, I don't think much of it at first. When it continues, I realize that the noise is Jack humming a song. I lean closer to him and am able to hear the tune he is humming:

It's one of our favorite love songs.

I quietly sing along with him and he looks up at me.

"Do you want to dance one last time?" I ask. Jack's breath hitches and he stops humming for a second, but he quickly recovers, clearing his throat and nodding his head.

I push myself up off the bed and hold my hand out to Jack.

"May I have this dance?" I ask, as Jack did all those months ago at the school dance. Jack smiles and takes my hand, standing up.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he places his hands on my waist. As we begin swaying back and forth, I sing the song again and Jack joins me. His voice is beautiful, even though he keeps getting choked up and has to clear his throat in order to continue singing. He never looks at my face, but I assume it's because if he did, he would lose the composure that he is trying desperately to keep. As we finish the song I reach up and turn his head so that he is looking at my face.

"Cry," I urge. "It's okay."

Jack pulls me closer, buries his head in my shoulder, and begins to weep. I rub the back of his head and whisper in his ear how much I love him, that I will be okay, that we will both be okay.

The side of Jack that I see now is one that few people have ever seen. Around everybody else, Jack has always been confident, bold, not afraid to argue if he disagrees about something. Around everybody else, Jack has never acted soft, weak, or helpless. He has never shown pain, emotional or physical.

Around everybody else, Jack doesn't cry out of sadness, or regret, or fear.

Around everybody else, he is Merridew.

I am one of the few people who ever gets to see him as Jack.