A/N I am amazed by the support, fellow humans. I can't describe my happiness. I feel closer to all of you. We are in this together.
Insecurities
"I never looked like that," she said. Therese heard it, but was too distracted by the soft hands sliding over her skin, raising goosebumps in their wake. She could only gasp for air before Carol was there, brushing soft lips over her own.
Now, months later, she contemplated it as they got ready for bed. Carol was standing in front of the mirror, staring ever so blankly at her reflection. She seemed to see through herself.
What makes a person like her so insecure, Therese thought. You may have never looked like this, but I will never look like that. Carol was, indeed, a beautiful woman. Therese watched the light bounce off of her moisturized face, her strong jaw and cheekbones casting beautiful shadows.
Age has a way of toying with a woman's mind and making her seem like her worth and beauty is somehow taken by the larger number on her birthday cards each year.
Carol was searching for her youth, trying to remember when she turned into the woman in the mirror.
It was a fair assumption to make that the men in her life had called her beautiful, but in an unwelcome way. In a way that was drenched in undertones of ownership and possession. She didn't want to be beautiful in that way. She only wanted to be beautiful in someone's eyes; to be truly wanted and to feel that in every bone of her body. That's what Therese thought, anyway. Months ago she wouldn't have understood, but it was starting to make sense.
Carol was known for doing what Therese called "dropping little clues for me to pick up in her dust". There was the fussing with her hair and makeup before they went anywhere, the panic when she couldn't find her compact before seeing Rindy and Harge, and that dreadful look of displeasure every night before she went to bed. She walked around with undeniable confidence, and she certainly had favorite outfits that Therese could tell she felt good in. All the same though, like any woman, she had her moments of doubt.
"Come to bed, Carol. Please?"
Her trance vanished as Therese's voice interrupted the silence. Slowly, she pulled her eyes away from the mirror and turned to Therese, a big smile pulling across her face.
"What?" Therese asked.
"You look so small in that big bed all alone."
Therese's face turned a light shade of pink and her cheeks swelled with pride as she smiled. Carol walked toward the bed and slid in next to her, rolling over and pressing the back of her body onto Therese.
"It's cold, don't you think?"
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Therese slid down into the blankets behind her, letting her body mold and conform to the curves of Carol's. Her skin and silk nightgown were cool to the touch and easy for Therese to slip her hands over. She let herself wander, trailing her fingers down the back of Carol's neck, down to her shoulder and along the blade. Her hands flattened over the expanse of her back and sides. Cuddling closer, she wrapped an arm around Carol and laid her hand across her stomach.
"Don't," Carol said in a low voice. She drew Therese's hand away and placed it on her hip instead.
"What's wrong, Carol..?" Therese was brave. She heard Carol draw in a long breath before she rolled over onto her back. Therese looked down at her, propped up on an elbow, and brought a hand to her hair.
"Nothing, darling." With that, Carol brought Therese's face down to hers and kissed her on the mouth. She kept her lips there for the calmest eternity Therese had ever known before pulling away. Therese could feel and smell her fresh, warm breath and dipped down, kissing her back. When she felt Carol's hand reach into her hair and tug, almost painfully, she knew that this wasn't a good night kiss. She felt Carol's legs moving, sliding over one another, her thighs pressing together and letting go.
