sorrows and woes - klaus baudelaire

⮑ prufrock prep

NATALIA WATCHED IN SHOCK AND FEAR AS COACH GENGHIS RODE THE MASCOT OF THE DEAD HORSE. She wondered how he could've found them again and how he got past the advanced computer system at the front door. She nervously glanced at Klaus and she could tell he was thinking the same by the worried look in his eyes.

The crowd was cheering and shouting with school sprit, causing Coach Genghis to get even more riled up, "I love the energy. I love it!"

"Okay, everyone, settle down!" Vice Principal Nero commanded and all the students fell silent and sat back down in their seats.

"Settle down?" Coach Genghis repeated. "Do you hear what Vice Principal Shapiro just said? 'Settle down.' How often I hear those words come out of people's ears and into my mouth. 'Settle', a word which here means 'settling for less,' and 'down,' my personal least favorite direction. Let me tell you a story. Some years ago, a woman came to me. She needed my help. 'Coach Genghis,' she said to me, 'I'm a failure. I have no job. My love life is in the pits. I can't seem to lose these last twenty pounds.' I bet that describes just about every one of you, am I right?"

The kids in the crowd looked at one another in confusion and Natalia rolled her eyes. This was a bunch of nonsense that they didn't have time for. They needed to figure out a way to put a stop to his scheme before anything gets out of hand.

Nero informed, "Um, they're schoolchildren."

"Exactly. And what did I say to her? Do you think I told her to settle down?" When he got no answer, Coach Genghis demanded, "Answer me, pippity-squeaks! Do you think I told her to settle down?"

"Probably not!" The crowd shouted.

"Probably not, indeed," Coach Genghis nodded. "I told her to stand up. I told her to actualize and incentivize. I told her to keep her eyes in the clouds and her feet on the stars. Do you know what happened?" He walked down the aisle and stopped when he got to the six orphans. His face twisted into a despicable grin and his eyes shined brightly as he met their glares. "She died in a mysterious fire. And her hair was almost as red as the flames that killed her."

Natalia's breath hitched in her throat as his words rang through her ears. She realized that Coach Genghis was telling a story about her mother. Although this story was not true, it still hurt Natalia's heart to hear him speak about her mother like that. She rubbed the locket between her fingers as she remembered all the good her mother had done during her life. The redhead glared even harder at the villain and if looks could kill, Coach Genghis would've been dead.

"Wait, what?" Nero asked, not understanding the Coach's words.

Coach Genghis ignored him and continued on, "Settling down is what losers do. Settling down started World War One. Settling down is what happens when you bite your lip and your lip gets swollen, so you bite your lip again, and then you keep biting your lip over and over. I don't want that. Do you want that, Prufrock Prep?"