sorrows and woes - klaus baudelaire

the austere academy

FOR BEATRICE

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART,

IN MY MIND,

AND IN YOUR GRAVE

•••••••••••••

NATALIA AND THE BAUDELAIRES HAD BEEN WAITING ON THE WOODEN BENCH OUTSIDE THE ADMINISTRATION OFFICE. They had been listening to the screeching sound of someone horribly playing the violin for what seemed like forever. Natalia thought the sound would make her ears bleed if they sat on the bench any longer. The four orphans stared off into the distance as they waited and waited and waited.

Violet ended the silence between them and said, "I feel like we've been sitting on this bench for months."

"We've been waiting so long, Sunny's starting to look less like a baby and more like a toddler," Klaus commented.

Sunny babbled something as she wondered, 'Growth spurt?'

Natalia looked at the middle Baudelaire and asked, "Klaus, has your voice gotten deeper?"

"I suppose it has," Klaus shrugged.

"We've been tormented by treachery and villainy," Violet said as she remembered the sorrowful events that just happened to them.

"Child labor and leeches," Klaus added, shuddering at the memories.

"And now, a new school," Natalia finished as she looked around the dark, spooky school.

"Well, the new school hasn't tormented us yet," Klaus explained.

Suddenly, the loud sound of shoes tapping against the tile floor echoed through the empty hallway and a girl came tapping up them. She was dressed in all pink and had red hair, similar to Natalia's, that was curled to perfection. She rudely greeted, "Hello, cake-sniffers!"

The four children stood up and Violet smiled, "Hello, um..."

"Um... Um..." the girl mocked Violet. "Are you a blithering idiot? Everyone knows I'm Carmelita Spats."

"I'm Violet Baudelaire, and these are my siblings Klaus and Sunny."

"And I'm Natalia Lexington."

"What does cake-sniffer mean?" Klaus asked, not recognizing the unfamiliar word.

"It means you're stupid cake-sniffers, but I'm the most special girl in the whole school," Carmelita rudely explained. "I'm supposed to give you a tour. This is Vice Principal Nero's office. He's a genius. He likes me best. I don't have to wear a uniform 'cause I'm too adorable. Come on."

Carmelita's shoes tapped on the tile as she led them through the boarding school. The four children could feel everyone's eyes on them, causing them to look at the floor. Klaus nervously whispered, "People are looking at us."

"It's probably because we're new," Violet reassured.

"It's because both your homes were destroyed in fires," Carmelita said as she led them outside to a courtyard where lots of kids were doing jumping jacks. She explained, "This is the athletic field. Our gym teacher's coaching an away game, so I get to make people do jumping jacks whenever I want."

"'Memento mori,'" Klaus read the school's slogan.

"What does 'memento mori' mean?" Violet questioned.

Natalia shuddered as she translated it in her head. She wondered why a school would ever want to have a slogan like memento mori. She informed, "Remember, you will die."