strange to hear «dps//anderperry»

vii

"Simmer down, gentlemen," Keating announced as he sauntered into the classroom. His gold and red striped scarf trailed behind him like a flag billowing in the rough breeze as he strode through the rows of desks and into his office. He disappeared into the room and emerged seconds later stripped of his overcoat and scarf, his arms filled with essays that the boys had written and were ready to be handed back.

Todd shifted in his seat and stole a glance back at Neil, who sat attentively, his round wire glasses rested at the bridge of his nose and his lips slightly parted, the gentle curves of his mouth silhouetted by the golden sun of the morning filtering in from the wall of dusty windows to the left of the boys. Todd averted his eyes to the photograph of Walt Whitman in the front of the room before Neil could catch him staring. The thoughts in Todd's head regarding Neil and more

specifically, Neil's lips, were louder than Keating's voice as he rambled on about the boys' essays. As hard as he tried to force the thought away, Todd couldn't keep Neil kissing him from plaguing his mind and rewiring the neurons of his brain to think about that and only that. His main question was 'Why?'. Neil sounded almost exasperated when he requested that Todd kiss him, he sounded like he had been yearning to kiss Todd just as Todd had been yearning to kiss Neil. Todd imagined the feel of Neil's lips against his and how gently Neil held his face as they kissed; the twist of his gut as they pulled away and Todd's mind went blank and electric shocks were sent through his body while he stood there, dumbfounded and grinning like an idiot. His mind wandered to tonight while he sank deeper, and deeper into his delusional daydream; he devised a plan. They'd come back from dinner together and, as per usual, Neil would situate himself atop of the radiator. Todd would stand beside Neil and pretend to be deeply fixated something outside. Neil would ask him what he was looking at. Todd would lean his head on Neil's shoulder and shrug, then kiss Neil's cheek. Neil would turn his head and they'd kiss again, and again, and again. They'd lie in Neil's bed and kiss until they were too tired to move their lips and they'd fall asleep next to each other with their lips just close enough to feel when the other would murmur in his sleep.

"Mr. Anderson!" Keating slapped his palm against the desk causing Todd to jump out of his skin and thus earning a few titters from his classmates, "Your essay was exceptionally compelling, quite an interesting take on the topic. Why don't you read your introduction for the class?"

"Ah, I dunno, it- it's not that.." Todd stammered as Keating pulled him out of his desk by his shoulder, "it's really not that great- I- I don't think I should."

"Nonsense, Todd! It's the best I've read all day. Just the intro, now, don't give yourself a heart attack." Keating said as he stepped back towards his desk, leaving Todd alone before the rest of the class. Todd's mouth dried and he shifted on his feet as he held his paper in his hands and meekly recited the words on the page. He finished hastily without taking what he was mumbling into consideration and tossed the paper back at Keating and rushed back to his desk, his cheeks burning and hands trembling. "A little faster next time," Keating laughed. Todd forced a smile and directed his gaze down to his clammy palms.

The bell rang and Todd swung out of his seat and rushed over to Neil. "That was humiliating," Todd said as the boys walked out of the class with the rest of the Dead Poets, "and why just me? That was unfair!"

"I thought you did okay," Neil said with a shrug.

"It doesn't matter how I did! He still made me- and only me- read my intro in front of the class! He- he knows that I don't like doing that and he still singled me out!" Todd ranted with his arms thrashing about.

"He's just trying to get you out of your shell, Todd," Neil said.

"Well, I like it in my shell," Todd replied. Neil laughed and opened the door to their dorm, letting Todd in before himself.