strange to hear «dps//anderperry»

iii

Neil's lamp was the only source of light in the otherwise dark room. The aura reached just the footboard of his bed and left Todd's side mostly dark but just light enough to make out the orange-tinted outlines of the shapes of his blankets he laid under. Hushed whispers of barely intelligible sentences came from Neil, who was slouched over on his bed copying the chemistry homework from Todd's notebook.

The blond stared blankly into the abyss beyond the footboards, his hands folded neatly over his lap and while his head hung to the side as if his neck was too weak to support the weight of his skull. "Neil," he said quietly, "did how much of Romeo and Juliet do you have memorized?"

"Not much," Neil said, "why?"

"You quoted a lot earlier,"

"I know." Neil leaned over across his bed and slid his books onto the desk. He sat up against the wall and yawned, "I jus' memorized that bit because last year we put on a little production and Charlie thought it'd be funny if I was Juliet. He made me wear a wig," he laughed.

Todd tittered and rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow. "They think that I'm for sure a queer now," he said, his voice swamped with shame and embarrassment.

"No," Neil shook his head, "they could see that I was the one who dragged you into it- nobody thinks you're a queer." He paused for a long moment, the silence between them was tense and smothered Todd like a thick quilt. "Why do you care so much if they think you're gay? They don't hate you and I doubt they ever will- they don't care enough to hate anybody." Neil explained with a chuckle. Through the dim haze of orange, Todd could make out Neil cocking a brow and looking quizzically to him, "Are you...?" he whispered.

"N-no..." Todd stammered, "I'm not gay."

"I don't care if you are. Just for the record," Neil stated.

"Okay. I'm not. So it doesn't matter," Todd declared, "and even if I was, I wouldn't tell you." His words got stuck in his throat and his voice cracked on the last syllable.

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

Neil didn't reply and Todd rolled over onto his other side and stared at the wall. Neil shifted in his bed and left out a loud, breathy sigh. The click of Neil's lamp and the wave of darkness that washed over the room signified that he was going to sleep. While Todd was grateful that Neil didn't stay up to interview him, something inside of him wished that he would say one final thing besides the soft "Good night, Todd," that was muffled by his blankets over his mouth. Todd smiled to himself and murmured a quiet 'good night' in response.

Shamefully, as he closed his eyes and pulled his blankets up to his chin, Todd imagined Neil asking him questions that he'd pretend to be unwilling to answer, like if he had a girlfriend, what type of music he liked, what his favorite novel was, and whether or not he was bothered by his friends. Todd would groan and act like he was annoyed and tell Neil that he's had one girlfriend when he was fourteen but she told him he was boring and too shy and then broke up with him (but leave out the part where she said he was too skinny and he looked like a mouse), that he didn't listen to music very often because the turntable his brother handed down to him when he moved out was broken and he didn't like going into the family room to listen to what he liked, but when he was home alone he'd listen to Buddy Holly. He'd explain that he really enjoyed Lord of the Rings, but hasn't had much time to read since last spring, and he'd lie and say that he loved Neil's friends when truthfully, they scared the hell out of him. To Todd's dismay, Neil's breathing was slow and quiet snores echoed in the dull room by the time he finished daydreaming.

Todd shifted in his bed once more so that he could look at the sloped ceiling above his bed. If the headmaster allowed it, he'd love to put up pictures and posters around the room. He didn't have more than two close friends at home, Samuel and Walter, but he'd tape pictures of him and them together on his wall, a few pictures of his dog and his cats, and maybe a couple of him and his brother. People would ask about his brother though since he was a senior while Todd and everyone else were freshmen. Jeffery was well-known and well-liked by teachers and students all throughout the school and everybody knew who he was; a stark contrast from Todd, who was the last person on anybody's mind. He sighed and closed his eyes, welcoming the first thought that wandered into the forefront of his brain- Neil.