How To Not Fall For You (Completed)

I don't want to be saved

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Trigger Warning:Talking about suicide

I couldn't move I just stood there looking at him kissing her I couldn't cry I couldn't do anything but stand there as my heart was getting ripped to pieces. Not being able to handle the pain anymore I got my phone out and called him just to say goodbye one last time.

"Carter?"

"Mason you were someone that helped me live a little longer so that I could hear my mom say the words that I never thought I would hear her say again-"

"Carter why are you saying this"

"Thank you for waking my heart up,thank you for letting me feel pleasure, thank you for letting me feel pain"

"Carter your scaring me"

"Thank you Mason for letting me feel love even if it was just for a while, thank you for being there even when I didn't want you to be thank you for saving me from myself, thank you for letting me know what love feels like so I would be able to tell you I-i-i love you Mason but now I have to say goodbye I hope you will be happy with Sarah"

"Car-" I hung up not being able to stand the sound of his voice it hurt way to much

Walking down the busy night filled streets I went to our school it was a pretty high building I knew that as soon as I jumped it would all be over. When I got there I just sat and stared out in the life filled city wondering were my life went wrong after my brother died my life turned upside down my mom took it the hardest at first she didn't drink or do drugs that was my dad who couldn't face life so he used things to help him forget.

I don't know how long I was up there it had to have been awhile considering the sun was starting to rise after I thought about every person in my head and I knew that they wouldn't miss me I mean my dad is so fucked up he abuses the only son he has left my mom told me not to come back for my own safety so I had nowhere to live and Mason he had Sarah me I had no one anymore

I got up onto the edge of the roof and came to term with the fact that this was the only option I had left 

"C-carter please get down"

There was no need to turn around I already knew who it was the man who brought life to my dark world the person who in so little time showed me love but he was also the man who brought fire down on my world and who in so little time showed me what pain felt like when the person you love rips your heart in two

"How did you find me"

"Before I had the courage to come talk to you I had been watching you for some time I know that the rooftop of the school was you favorite place to go"

"Can you leave"

"No why would I leave you I love you Carter I can't imagine my life without you"

"It didn't seem that way when you where sucking faces with Sarah"

"Y-you saw that?"

"Yes I saw it and you know what it hurt like hell I thought you were done with her I though that I was enough I thought that we could start working on "us" I-i-i thought you loved me"

"I do love you I was angry that you still cared about your parents when all they have put you through was hell, I was angry that you  would choose them over me when I have shown you more love than they have in years, she was there it was a one time thing"

"So anytime that you get angry at me you will call her so you can f her and then come back to me when you mind is clear"

" No Carter it is not like that I promise"

"You also promised that you would wait for me but I guess that was a lie too"

"It wasn't everything that I told you I meant it I never lied to you Carter never"

"Just leave Mason I am sick of hurting I am sick of living in a world were no one loves me"

"DAMN IT CARTER I LOVE YOU"

"WELL YOU DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF SHOWING IT"

"JUST LET ME SAVE YOU"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED MASON" I said crying my heat out

"I-i-i don't want to be saved"

I could hear him walking toward me but I did nothing even when he pulled me off of the edge and hugged me 

"shhh it's okay I'm here I well always be there to catch you when you fall, I will always be there to save you"

"I-i don't w-want to be saved Mason I-i-i want to be l-loved"

Fact 1: You are not alone suicide is NEVER the answer

Wow double update 

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Until next time...

Bye my loves<3