11:30, November 17, 2019
Every part of me burns as I continuously think about the angel.
The angel made my heart ache, not giving me any sympathy.
Why do I do this to myself?
I always hurt myself by letting myself believe that they could like me.
No one could like someone like me.
Why try? Every time I do try it always fails.
I want to cry as I think about the angel, so nice, so kind, so... good, too good for me.
I can't do anything with them, why would they even waste their time and breath being with me?
It's already a disgrace that I exist, why would I drag them down with me?
No one stuck around me, they only were around for projects and homework. Nothing else.
I wouldn't blame them, I am one shitty human being.
Too much of a nuisance, too loud, too quiet, too strong, too weak, too dumb, too smart, too social, too anti-social...
So many words, but, all holding a strong meaning.
Why even try to prove them wrong when they are right?
I try too hard to be a perfect human being, so, I should just give up since none of the versions I give out are the right ones that people want.
People want someone confident but not conceited, who was loud but not boisterous, who was quiet but not muted.
There was no in-between with people, only one side. No 60-40, no 70-30, only 100-0.
Why were people so insensitive?
Everyone had feelings, and everyone felt pressure to be the best, follow social standards of beauty and personality.
11:51, November 17, 2019
274 Words
YOU ARE READING
i get lost in my mind
Poetrylots of things happen during brain activity. what would it be like to be depressed while having a vivid imagination? get closer to someone. who? that's up to you to decide. why think about it too hard? it won't matter. there is only so much time...
