I am not confusing #Wattys2014

Chapter 2

No wait, drama and tears aside. Well, jokes aside too. How’s this supposed to work really? Girls were created to be naturally talkative people. We talk okay, that’s who we are. We talk about everything and the unnecessary stories are the most interesting to us. But that’s not the problem, the problem is men were created to not have a patient ear. They do not listen! If they are listening, it’s very selective. I don’t know if this problem can be sorted out because it needs to be sorted out this year! Yes I said it, this year.

I’ve never been on a “serious” first date so 2 weeks after my “death”, I decided it’s time for me to have a “serious” first date. I told my best friend, Theodore, about this and he agreed that it was a great idea. Yes I have a best friend and yes he’s a guy. People always wonder if we don’t have sexy feelings for each other. I think I should be proud to say my best friend is just my friend, well I am proud to say it. For some reason, Theodore decided that he was also going to have his first date. Our dates happened same day and same time. I was so excited when I was driving back home. I was going to hear everything about Theodore’s date. Excitement wouldn’t begin to describe what I felt. I got to my house and quickly ran to Theodore’s house, which is just next door. I knocked on his door. When he opened the door, I screamed “bestie!” He was just as excited as I was. We couldn’t decide on who would speak first so we “rock, paper, scissor” and He won.

Me: “So babe, how was it? Tell me everything. The what, where, how, why and who, I mean everything.”

Him: “ahh babe, she’s hot, we didn’t have sex and I got home just 5 minutes ago.”

Me: “Is that all? Was it that boring?”

Him: “It wasn’t boring, it was actually fun. It was the best date ever.”

Me: “Was it better than our fake date?”

Him: “Hahaha most definitely not! Our Fake date was out of this world. How was your date? Don’t tell me it was better than our fake date.”

Me: “Nothing can be compared to our fake date. So last night I was studying till late. I studied till 5am so I only went to bed at 6am. My date was at 2 o’clock in the afternoon so I had to wake up at 12pm. I was so tired when I got up.”

Him: “What does this have to do with anything? How was your date?”

Me: “Maybe if you kept quiet than I would tell you about my date. So at 12 o’clock I got up and did my bed. I took a really long shower because I didn’t want to be smelly or anything. I couldn’t decide on what to wear and now it was 1 o’clock. I really thought I wasn’t going to make it on time because I still didn’t have anything to wear.”

Him: “Really though? You get new clothes every weekend.”

Me: “I didn’t want him to see me in something old and dull. I was trying to make a good first impression. So I wore my purple dress, I looked really pretty but then I remembered that you said it made me look fat so I took it off. I eventually decided to go for my black jeans. Every girl looks pretty and slim in black. You still listening to me right?”

Him: “Yeah, green dress.”

Me: “No! Purple dress. You do not listen babe, please listen, this is really important. So I got dressed and I drove off. We met at the mall for lunch then we went to a haunted house for the rest of the date. At lunch, he said he was going to order for me. I thought it was very cute until he ordered liver. Liver? I said liver! Remember how I don’t eat liver. I sat there trying to tell him that I don’t eat liver, I sat there until the liver came. So now I was sitting there trying to eat the liver. It was so disgusting and uneatable. I swear I couldn’t swallow nor could I breathe. You know what I hated more than trying to swallow? I hated being fake and not being myself. I eventually told him that I do not eat liver. OMW he was so ashamed, his cheeks turned red. How cute right?”

Him: “uhm, what? Yeah”

Me: “I took the menu and ordered a Greek salad. It tasted amazing. I don’t know what sauce that restaurant uses but it’s amazing. He had steak and chips like every guy your age. After we ate, I offered to pay the bill but he refused. Of course he would refuse, he is a gentleman. Oh, I forgot to tell you that he is a gentleman. Unlike you, he pulled my chair for me and he doesn’t call me a weirdo. We left the restaurant and he held my hand as we walked to the car. I swear he made me feel special, like I was his girlfriend. Another cute right? So we drove to the haunted house and we were there by 18:30. I checked the time because I was wondering if your date was better than mine. The haunted house was…”

Him: “Isn’t that your phone?”

Me: “Oh it is, it’s my mother again. She probably needs to go to work. Babe let me leave, I’ll send you a voice audio of the rest of the story. You do remember where I stopped right? If not, I don’t mind starting again.”

Him: “Of course weirdo, you choose the green dress because I said it made you look slim. You confuse me sometimes, if I wasn’t your best friend, I wouldn’t listen to you. You are so confusing.”

Like explaining to the world that I am not confusing isn’t annoying enough, I also have to explain it to the person who claims to know me better then I know myself. I am not confusing. Every girl loves talking, they love explaining and we love letting people into our adventurous world.