"I don't know who you are, or where you came from, but I like your face."
"Mistletoe, eh? why use that as an excuse to steal your girl when I already have?"
"What the hell does 'Love Yourself' even mean? I'm not gay."
"did you seriously just sit on a cactus? what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"every morning, I wake up and say to myself, 'how am I still alive? how haven't I kicked the bucket already?'"
"Well, Helen, If you haven't noticed already by the big purple rings under my fucking eyes, I'm REALLY too tired to put up with your bullshit."
"FIGHT ME HELEN."
"Have you ever considered killing yourself? well, maybe you should, you Twat."
"I'M SUPER DEPRESSED!"
"If three people having sex is a threesome, and two is a twosome, then Its no wonder why people call me handsome. *smiles sadly*"
"Helen, your casserole for the meeting was almost as dry as your personality."
"God, I'd ask if you could get any stupider, but I already know you're as dumb as they come."
"Are we done here? because I've got an appointment to get to. Yeah, It's a 'me time' appointment."
"I'm sick of your shit, Gertrude. take your nasty ass rhubarb pie that tastes like the starving children of Africa, and get the hell out of the meeting room."
"Sometimes I wish, that like, a tree, would fall on my head, during, like, a storm, and, yeah."
"There's a shooter? Fucking bitch where the hell is he. I'll pay him. *shouts* HEY OVER HERE YA BITCH!"
"You'll never get anywhere hoeing like that, Helen."
"you nasty bitch."
"Oh, your dad went out to buy cigarettes and didn't come back? well, I guess he did himself a huge favor."
"Hello, 2nd grade! today, I'll be teaching you where babies REALLY come fr-" *gets tackled off stage*
"Roses are red, life has no meaning, the voices in my head, are CONSTANTLY SCREAMING!"
"Hello, fellow teens. would you care to go skate boarding and flirting with female peers?"
"Hee hoo peanut-"
"don't take anything I say IN context."
