Take Me Home | ✔

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I'll stop blaming other people. And hopefully, the people I've hurt will forgive me, too. 

sincerely,

elliot 

november 29th, 2015

copenhagen, denmark. 

Dear Samantha, 

I've been invited back to the States by Tessa.

Surely you remember my little cousin? The one who's always trying to offer you her clothes and always trying to buy tacos from you? Well, her dad -- Uncle Terrence -- is getting his vows renewed with his second wife and I don't really know much about vow renewals but i feel like it's like a second wedding? I mean, they sent a formal invitation and everything. Like a first wedding, but it's not? I have no idea, honestly. 

All I know is, I'm going for Tessa and to be back with my family again. It might be nice to be back in the States again for the holiday season and for Christmas. It wasn't like I was going to spend my holiday break anywhere special here in Denmark. I probably would've spent it alone in my dormitory watching Danish christmas specials and not understanding most of it. Most of the students from my dorm already have plans, and I'm slightly relieved I won't be alone for Christmas like I was last year. Last year's Christmas was pretty lonely and miserable, a bit. I barely knew anyone here, and I was thousands of miles and a whole ocean away from home. And when you're alone during such a happy time, it's pretty difficult to be merry. 

Maybe going back will be a good thing.

Even though the snow is practically guaranteed for Chrismas here in Denmark, Christmas just isn't the same here. 

I think I'm getting homesick. I'm starting to miss a lot of things- and people - these days. 

talk to you later,

elliot

december 14th, 2015

copenhagen airport 

I hate flying. 

I loathe planes. 

I'm claustrophic. 

I'm afraid of falling and plummeting to my untimely end. 

The only single time I've flown was getting here to Denmark. That whole process was a nightmare in itself (The person sitting beside me on the plane sneezed on my neck pillow and I almost got my luggage stolen by a little blonde Danish girl) and now they're expecting me to do it all over again? 

Oh God. 

I think I'll write to more people, just to get my mind off of this. There's a lot I've been meaning to say. 

see you,

elliot. 

december 14th, 2014

copenhagen airport 

Dear Vienna, 

Long time no see. Or is it talk? It's not like I'm exactly talking to you, I don't think I could ever do it again without you wanting to slap me in the face. I mean I probably deserve it, and more--

[ELLIOT scratches out his words hastily and starts over]  

draft #2 

Dear Vienna, 

Hey, how are you doing? 

How's life? Hopefully you're doing good? 

I hope you don't hate me--  

[ELLIOT sighs, crumpling the piece of paper, starting again.] 

draft #3 

Dear Vienna, 

Yes. This is a letter. I know, right? Weird. -- 

[ELLIOT scrawls out his words, a little frustrated. He was never good with words.] 

draft #4

Dear Vienna, 

I saw some corn in the airport cafeteria and it reminded me of you---

draft #5 

Dear Vienna,

Now that I know what it's like to be deathly afraid of something, I won't ever pretend to be a child of the corn again. 

By the way, I've been thinking about that road trip and what happened near the end--

draft #6 

Dear Vienna, 

I'm really, really, really, really sorry. Really x20. 

If only I could see you in person, I would tell you that I would take back everything I said to you a year ago. I didn't mean it, you know I didn't mean it. I was just... I was heartbroken and I was stupid. I bet you get these apologies often? 

I'm sorry. 

draft #7 

Dear Vienna, 

When I said that I wish I had never met you, I didn't mean it. If I had never met you, I dont think I would have learned to love traveling. I wish I wasn't traveling alone, honestly. -- 

(All passengers boarding Scandinavian Airlines flight 819 from Copenhagen to Houston with a connecting flight at New York, this is your final boarding call.) 

draft #8 

Dear Vienna, 

I wish I could see you again. I would give anything to see you again, just to ask you to forgive me. It's been killing me, this weight, this guilt that I've been holding for so long (I really hope it isn't too late.) I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry for ignoring you after that kiss, I'm sorry for lashing out at you, I'm sorry for telling you to leave because that was the exact thing that I didn't want to happen. More than anything, I wanted you to stay with me in that hospital but I guess I just couldn't take everything and I lashed out at the one person who's been my anchor through the whole trip. 

 If I hurt you, I don't think I would ever forgive myself. And if did hurt you, and if you can't forgive me, I'd understand. 

I made a mistake, okay? A huge mistake. 

I'm coming back for you---

love,

elliot. 

* * * 

[ author's note ] bECAUSE CHRISTMAS TIME IS UPON US AND I HAVE A THING FOR LETTERS FOR MY CHARACTERS OK  

also thank you for all your support :) i love all of your comments, they're very much loved&appreciated, and your love for my babies vienna/elliot/eli/samantha/everyone is too amazing, thank you xoxo