PINOE'S BLUE SKY

EPILOGUE 4: I'LL SING FOR YOU

We finally married each other and I had never sung for Skylar before, so here I was, sitting on a stool on a big enough stage for a triple wedding, by myself, with my guitar in a dimmed light room with all my friends, getting ready to sing for the woman of my life.

- Skylar Blue.

I was just about to choke up after I called her name, but I reminded myself to not to because then I couldn't sing.

Out of many people in the room, I could only see her. Skylar Blue in her white dress, looking up at me with her bright brown eyes. Her beauty never fails to take my breath away.

- I'm sorry.

I smiled as she shook her head to reject my apology.

- Sorry to make you have to fix me because I cant even fix my own broken self. I'm sorry that I have a painful past and it seemed never go away. I'm sorry for your tears, I'm sorry for your concerns and worries about me. I'm sorry that I can be a very difficult person to love sometimes. And I'm sorry that out of many people on Earth, I want you.

Swallowed back my tears, which threatened to fall at any second, I continued:

- And thank you for everything. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for always being honest and transparent in front of me. Thank you for believing in me and supporting me in everything I do as an individual and as us together. Thank you for being you because just your existence is enough to save my life every single time. I just love you so much, Skylar. Words can't explain how fucking much I love you because it never ends, it doesn't have a limitation and it feels like my adoration for you increases every second of the day.

I smiled to how Skylar opened a napkin to wipe her tears.

- I love being with you so much that I turned from loving travelling to hating it to my gut. I used to love spending time away because different places acted like anaesthesia that could help numb my pain, but now, being away from home rips my chest open every time, because I have someone waiting for me to come home. And because you have your own life too, so we can't stick together 24/7 and I can't take you with me. You are just very easy to be missed. I would turn crazy if I don't at least call you 3 times a day when we're apart. It doesn't have to be a long call, it's just simply "I just went here," "I had lunch already," "how's your day?" "I miss you, Skylar Blue." 5 to 10 minutes on the phone with you is enough to charge my battery from 0% to full.

I spontaneously smiled as I thought ahead about the thing that I said next:

- Remember when I suggested you to quit your job 2 days right after you went back to work, and asked you to go everywhere with me as a full-time job, cos I would pay you the shit out of it?

Skylar slightly nodded and smiled in tears:

- It didn't go well, did it? I got slapped in the mouth right afterward, but it's ok. I looooove being physical with you.

The crowd laughed, Skylar laughed as well as her tears fell down like crazy, and I just couldn't stop smiling because of that precious face crying and laughing because of me and for me.

- Ashlyn used to tell me that Ali is the "A" to her "Ashlyn" because without Ali, she can't function properly and cannot be her authentic self anymore. And then Christen told me that Tobin is the water color to her canvas, because Tobin is the artist that makes her life colorful and alive. So I asked myself so many times "What does Skylar Blue mean to me?" The day you left me, I found the answer for myself. It's very simple, it's already in your name. You're just simply my sky. I would say that you're the sky to my life if I tried to fit in. – I laughed. Tears leaked out of my eyes a little.