The Shadows Of My Past (Destiel)

Chapter XIV: What the hell?

Gabriel drove a hand through his hair, making it even messier than it had been before. He sighed deeply, looking back and forth between the two brothers. He was scared. Scared that they would scream at him, that they would tell him that he was stupid or that they should have never talked to him in the first place. He was sweating, trembling as he thought of how to tell them what he wanted to say.

What if they didn't believe him? What if they thought he was crazy and then walked away from him, away from the weird, lying bastard and back to their lives, which had been so much better before Gabriel fucked everything up? The man gathered all his willpower, standing in front of the boys with a newly found confidence.

"I know how we can bring him back to life, but it requires more than just some simple spells. Plus, his life will be...different." Dean took a cautious step forward, his eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean by 'different'?" Gabriel pointed to the bedroom door with his thumb, motioning for the men that they would have to have a talk in the living room. Normally, Dean wouldn't have the nerves to do so, but he knew that he would do whatever it would take to bring Castiel back to him. He wanted to hold him one more time, embrace the little figure with his strong, firm arms until the shorter man laughed and told him to stop, just like it had been a few months ago.

He wanted to feel the soft plump lips against his owns, the lips which made his insides twist in excitement, which made his skin tingle as if volts and volts of electricity ran through it. He missed looking into Castiel's stunningly blue eyes so deeply that he got lost in them. On the whole, he missed his friend, his buddy...he missed his angel.

As soon as the three of them were seated on the couch, Gabriel in the middle, he started to explain.

"As I told you, if we do what I think we should do, Castiel's life will be completely turned upside down, and so will mine, just so you two are aware of that fact." He sighed, not caring about the confused glances his boyfriend shot him. He just wanted to get it over with, to tell them what he had known for so long now, because this way, he wouldn't have to hide it from them anymore. Perhaps they would even have a chance at saving Castiel, well, most probably.

Gabriel pulled two small bottles out of his jeans pocket, eyeing them with a frustrated expression. He set them down onto the coffee table, allowing the boys to look at the strange substances within the vessels. "This here, my dear friends, is grace." He paused for a moment, examining the gloomy liquids critically. "To be precise, these are two bottles of grace. One of them's mine, the other one is Cassie's."

Dean picked up the blueish shining 'grace', looking at it grumpily. "What the hell is it?" "Let me speak, Deano. And don't let it fall down, this is Castiel's only chance." Dean put it down onto the table again, slowly and gently for not to break the bottle. He paid attention to the short man again, who had stood up in the meantime, making his speech seem even more important and dramatic, classic Gabriel.

"'What is grace?' you will ask me now. Well, I'll tell you. Grace is like booze for Dean. It's like a long run around the blocks for Sam, it's a computer game for Charlie, or whatever connections you would choose. It's like going on some refreshing hunts for John, but it's for angels." Sam coughed loudly, asking himself why Gabe knew about all of their friends and family members.

"What?" Gabriel nodded, continuing. "Me and Castiel are angels. Well, we used to be. Our grace here..." He pointed at the shiny fluids in the bottles. "We took them out so that we could feel like real people, it's been a while ago." Dean stood up, his expression hard. "Cas knew about it? And he never told me?"

Gabe shook his head, thinking. "Did you tell him that you were a hunter?" He stopped, looking into the direction of the bedroom where Castiel was still lying, cold and dead, waiting to be woken up. "But no, he didn't know. I took his grace, I wanted him to have a normal life. I knew how it is to be an angel, and he was my favorite brother. I couldn't do that to him."