Fireworks || HARRINGROVE ||

Crushed Underfoot

February 17, 1984

A few weeks had went by in a whirlwind of events. Steve and Billy followed their respective lives and met up more and more to jerk each other off or have fun without any sexual encounters. Steve had given Billy a blowjob for Valentine's Day, and noticed that Billy was pliant, almost like a receiver who never reciprocated. Steve did not mind, hell, how could  he? Steve told Billy he was like a pillow princess and earned a swift kick from the man himself.

Now Steve was on the couch icing his balls for what felt like the umpteenth day, grumbling to himself about having literal blue balls. After Billy had kicked him in the nuts, he left and Steve hadn't heard from him since. Steve did not know which hurt worse: his balls or his emotions. Somehow, Steve had gotten attached to the idea of spending time with Billy or dreaming about Billy, or really anything to do with Billy. For lack of better words, Steve Harrington was addicted to Billy Hargrove.

Steve lazily lolled his head to the back of the couch, already bored of the movie be had popped in the VHS player after five entire minutes.

He wanted to see Billy.

The doorbell rang. It was as if the gods had answered Steve's prayers. Steve did his best to get off the couch, walking bowlegged to the door, the pack of frozen peas that doubled as his ice pack laid on the couch where he had just sat. Steve was like an excited puppy, ready to see its owner after they had come back home. He opened the door and was met with a face he did not expect to see.

"Hey, Steve," Nancy said, her voice small but stern, like it always was. "Can we talk?" 

Steve blinked a few times and stuttered out, "Wh-, uh um yeah, yeah sure come in." He wanted to slap himself in the face for how stupidly nervous he sounded. It really was unlike Steve to act like that, and Nancy noticed. 

Nancy sat on the couch, mirroring the way she did when they used to date and watched movies on the couch. Well, more like they made out, but that was long over for both of them, already finding a man they would rather be with. 

Nancy cleared her throat and stared up at Steve, who had decided to stand with his arms crossed rather than sitting. "Mike has been talking about you," she said.

Steve quirked an eyebrow. "Is that something new?" 

Nancy ignored that and continued, saying, "He said you have gotten yourself a girlfriend." 

Steve stared at her, his heartbeat starting to thrum loudly. "Um, okay." He replied, feigning carefreeness, which wasn't easy.

"I don't think you have a girlfriend, Steve," she said, her look turning to one that seemed to know everything. 

Steve felt a rush of fear course through his body, nearly crashing onto his knees. His legs wobbled like gelatin. "Well, I do," he replied, cursing himself, knowing his voice was one of a liar's. There was no way Nancy would bite and believe that.

Nancy sighed and patted the couch cushion beside her. "Steve, I know we ended our breakup on a bad note, but we are still friends. You know that." 

Steve nodded. He did know that, though this was not something he talked about to anyone but Robin, who was well versed in the works of same sex attraction. He could no longer hold himself up on his legs so he collapsed on the couch as far away from Nancy as he could. 

"Steve, you can trust me," Nancy said reassuringly. 

That's a damn lie, Steve thought. Suddenly, his nerves were outweighed by anger. "Really, Nancy?" He spat, turning to her and yelling, "Can I really?!"

Nancy shrunk back into herself. Steve ignored that and continued with a raised voice laced with venom and accusation, saying, "Do you not remember everything that has happened in the past two years? Every time you have defied my trust, crushing it like it's a goddamn bug? Huh?!" 

Nancy blinked back the tears welling up in her eyes. "Steve, that's not fair." 

"No, it's not, Nancy. Was it fair when you told the school about how my father abused me? I told you that in confidence and told everyone with your big fat mouth!" 

Nancy's lips quivered as she struggled to fight back tears. She knew that Steve calling her a slut did not even the score with everything she had spread with gossip. "Steve," she said quietly in a choked voice. "We both made mistakes. We were young and stupid."

Steve felt his own tears rising, his anger quickly burned through with the well of emotions hidden behind his eyes. "Yeah, we were, but I'm the only one that apologized and tried to change it and make it up to you. You didn't." 

"I-I'm so-" Nancy started but Steve stopped her with a hand raised.

"Don't," he said lowly. "Just... don't."

Nancy sniffled into her hands. Steve swiped at his eyes, pulling away with a bit of moisture from tears that fought not to fall. "Please leave," he told her quietly, staring at the wall, waring with his eyes to not give in and overflow with emotion. 

Nancy left after a long minute, closing the front door behind her loudly. The noise jarred Steve out of his war, which proved to be a fatal mistake. The tears started to fall without abandon and leaked down Steve's face. 

Steve broke.

,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,..,..,.,.,

February 18, 1984

Steve woke up on the couch with a heavy heart and a migraine. The house was empty, silent. It was always empty, why should he expect anything different? Still, even after all these years, it hurt. It always hurt if he thought about it too long. 

Steve pulled himself off of the couch, his limbs feeling like lead. With a heavy sigh, Steve made his way up the stairs and pulled on his work uniform. That stupid, stupid sailor uniform. Steve did not bother looking in the mirror, knowing he looked like shit, which is exactly what Robin told him. 

Steve blew a long cloud of smoke out from his lungs, like a dragon that lost its flames. Robin wrinkled her nose and fanned her hand in front of her face, dissipating the badly directed line of smoke. "I know," he replied. 

Robin picked at her nail polish, a subconscious habit. "How many days has it been?" She asked without giving any other description to what exactly she was asking, but Steve knew precisely what she was asking.

"Four days."

Robin squished her face up in thought. "That's not what has you so down, is it?" She phrased it like a question, but it was exceptionally obvious that she was stating her assumption. 

"Lesbians know everything," he said with a laugh, because it was true, at least it was with Robin. The woman was smart, essentially a genius.

Robin posed and smiled. "I don't know about everything, but we are just smarter than everyone else. It's gay power," she joked. 

Steve's lips curved into a real smile. He dropped the cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it beneath his shoe, leaving behind the crushed feeling in his chest as he and Robin made their way back to the mall.