the silence

thirty-six.

    "eddy," brett interrupted. "you don't have a choice."

    it was the taller boy who was crying now, his need to see brett and fear for his safety overwhelming him all at once. he wiped his tears angrily and sighed.

    "are they keeping her away from you? i need to call them and tell them to keep her away from you," he said, voice shaking.

    "it'll be fine, eddy. i'm sure i'll get interrogated about it the second this phone call is over. can't have any secrets here," he mumbled, glancing at the staff member who sat and the end of the hall and supervised their phone calls.

   "how were you doing before that? how are you doing now?"

    "eddy, too many questions," brett groaned, shoving his thumbnail into the plaster on the beige wall. eddy cleared his throat.

"i'm going to come see you tomorrow," he said, audibly pained at the change of the subject. he wanted to talk about mae and how brett was doing and what the fuck happened with her. it was not something he could just let go.

"are you?" brett asked, perking up at the thought. being on the list for visitation was something to get excited about.

"yes," eddy nodded. "i promise."

"okay."

the two of them spent the rest of their phone call talking about anything but mae. time ran out as eddy was going on about something trivial that didn't really matter and brett cringed as he heard the staff member's voice tell him he had to hang up.

"eddy?" he interrupted his boyfriend's long story with a timid voice, tears welling in his brown eyes.

"hm? i'm sorry, am i—"

"i have to go."

"oh," eddy mumbled. he'd nearly forgotten that they were on a time limit.

"yeah. i love you. please don't forget to come tomorrow," the smaller boy sniffled.

"i love you, too. i'll see you then, okay?"

"okay."

"bye, love."

"bye, eddy."

brett hung the phone back up on the scratched wall and sighed miserably, beginning the short walk back to his room. he crawled into the bed and wrapped himself in eddy's blanket, crying until he fell asleep.

;
day two.

    the following morning was filled with way too many questions being asked by way too many people. brett had already seen two psychiatrists and a doctor before lunch time and every single one of them wanted to know about mae.

    "do you know that girl who attacked you?" a woman with dark hair had asked, her blue pen poised over crisp white paper. brett shifted in his seat uncomfortably, picking at the frayed fabric of the worn couch. he wondered how many people had sat and done the same, remembering the jagged lines in the drywall next to the phones whose handles were yellowed from so many tight grips.

    "yes," he'd said simply. the psychiatrist scribbled something down on her paper.

    "would you like to tell me how?" she asked, her voice slightly impatient. brett shrugged.

    "it's not really that big of a deal," he muttered. the woman squinted at him.

    "brett, she tried to strangle you."

    "yeah," was all he said, staring at the wall behind the woman's head. it was a bluish color, similar to the jacket eddy had worn on their first date. brett had to look away.

    "how do you know her?" she asked again. brett sighed.

    "she beat the shit out of her boyfriend and he found refuge in me. and now he's my boyfriend and she hates me. that's it," he explained. the psychiatrist, whose faded name tag said heather, raised her thick eyebrows in surprise.

    "that sounds a bit messy, brett. what happened?"

    brett took a deep breath before answering her question in full. he explained how he met eddy, what had happened between them, and what mae had done to him. heather typed on her computer a lot as he talked. it made him nervous.

    another thing that came up during his explanation was jamie. everything was finally all out on the table and he couldn't stop crying, eddy's blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. he curled up into a ball on the couch in heather's office, the two of them sitting together in a heavy silence. there were many things she could say, but she knew it was best to just keep her mouth shut. she let brett cry until he fell asleep once more.

;

after brett woke up, he was told that he could eat lunch in the unit instead of the cafeteria. the staff wouldn't let him off of constant observation and he sat in silence with one of the mental health technicians for the entire hour, staring at the wall again and trying to avoid eye contact. she didn't talk much and he was grateful.

when lunch was over, brett decided it would be wise for him to participate in group therapy. instead of retreating back to his room, he sat down on one of the small couches in the common area and waited for the session to begin.

it went fine, as brett would say. it mostly consisted of people talking about why they were there and what they were feeling. he didn't share much when it came to his turn, but it felt better to be a part of something.

after therapy, an hour remained until visitation. 60 minutes until brett would get to lay his eyes on eddy's beautiful face. 3,600 seconds until the taller boy's arms could wrap around him and make everything go away.

as expected, the hour drug on. brett sat on the same little couch and stared at the photo of him and jamie for what felt like hours, but the one clock in the facility said that only 7 minutes had passed. he decided to do as the other patients did and doodle endlessly on plain paper with a ballpoint pen. he'd seen some of the other people's drawings and was in awe of what they would do to keep themselves busy. he figured it might work.

he lost himself in drawing small circles on the paper. before he knew it, people were getting up around him. raising his head made him discover that the time for visitation had come.

but his name was not on the list.

a/n: i've never done one of these! hey !! sorry the update took forever. i've been goin thru it and soooomebody (nonsenseverses ) keeps me real busy. she's mine in case you were wondering