Amongst The Stars ↬ Ben Barnes

04 ↬ phone call

bold is vera | italics is her mum

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[     INCOMING CALL FROM VERA     ]

vera?

hi, mum! just calling to see how you've been.

oh, you sweet girl. i'm doing alright, don't you worry about me. have you found a potential place in new york yet?

not yet because dana's only gonna be here in three days' time, beth's still in dublin and jane's only moving in with us next year after she's done with this screenplay she's been working on. so i'm just gonna look around for a while before the premiere next week.

beth and jane are moving in with you girls? i thought it was just you and dana?

yeah, we ran over everything again and decided to move in together since we're all single and are probably gonna die alone but well, at least we'll have each other.

oh, you girls are quite a bunch, aren't you?

just messing with you, mum! we all just decided to get a place together 'cause it'll be fun to stay with your best friends.

and also to get away from your father. don't think i don't know, vera.

i honestly can never get anything past you, mum. you know me so well.

speaking of your dad, have you called him?

. . . i haven't. i don't really feel like talking to him, actually.

he didn't listen to you again?

not only that but he kept asking me for money.

oh, darling. . . i'm so sorry---

you have nothing to be sorry for, mum.

yes, i do. your dad used to rely on me ever since we both got married and now that you're on your own, earning a steady income. . . and with us being divorced, he's turned to you.

. . . i hate that i can't refuse him sometimes, mum. he's always telling me how he just wants to enjoy his life right now, especially since he's not getting any younger but the thing is, sometimes i just feel so tired. i'm so sick and tired of his attitude. whenever i have good news, he doesn't seem to show any interest in hearing it because all he cares about is going out for drinks with his friends and smoking two packs of cigarettes over the span of two days. i'm so fucking tired of all this---i just---oh, god. . . mum, i'm sorry. i shouldn't be ranting---

no, you should. you should be telling me all this because i'm your mum. i'm always going to be there for my little girl---no matter how old you get. your dad. . . he's always had a habit of putting other people first before you and me, and now. . . now i know i should have listened to my mother when she told me not to marry him. love blinded me when i married your father, vera. i don't want the same thing to happen to you.

. . . can i ask you something, mum? even if it may sound a little naïve?

anything, darling.

what if i never find him?

who?

the one i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. what if i never find him because of all the expectations that i have? and not only that, what if i never find him because of my fear of getting attached?

darling, i honestly pray that you do and i know that someone out there will see your worth and treasure you like no other. there are good men out there, vera. i just happened to meet one and marry one who appeared to be good and desirable to others, and that's only because he never fully revealed his true self to them. but you will meet someone and i don't want you to be held back by what happened between you and danny.

. . . danny was. . . he's history now, mum.

and i don't want you to be held back by what happened between me and your dad. i honestly wish you hadn't heard all the ugly words that we exchanged, all the ugly truths that were spilled. . .

i know how hard you tried to hide it from me, mum. i know but i heard almost everything and i even witnessed almost all the fights you and dad had. and it's okay because i finally saw the real him.

i never wanted you to think ill of your father, vera---

he showed me his true colours, mum. and he wasn't ashamed about it.

i wish you didn't have to go through all this, my sweet girl. . .

it's fine, mum. . . i've gotten used to it, i guess. anyway, we shouldn't be talking about this---i'm sorry, i shouldn't have suddenly blurted everything out like that.

you have every right to rant, vera. never be sorry for that. i'm your mum---if my little girl is having a rough day, i want her to tell me about it. if she's having a swell day, i want her to tell me about it, too. when i was pregnant with you, we went through almost everything together, didn't we?

i love you, mum. i love you so much and i miss you.

i miss you, too, my darling. now, i'd stay on and chat but i've got yoga class in about half an hour and i haven't even left the house yet.

okay, you should get going. i'm glad you're finally taking up yoga because you used to go on and on about it.

it honestly feels great---oh, how i wish we could go for yoga classes together. . . mummy loves you so much, vera. please take good care of yourself and drink lots of water. and get more rest whenever you can!

i will, mummy. i love you. talk to you soon!

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a/n; hope you're all liking this story so far! ben & vera are finally gonna see each other for the first time in three years very soon!!!

also, happy halloween!!! 👻