Breathin'

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the lyrics to 'Bennie and the Jets' by Elton John. 

For the rest of night, Belen and Sebastian shared kisses during most of filming. Sometimes when it wasn't required of them although both of them would deny that if anyone asked. Belen would press on about how it was for the music video but Melissa didn't believe her.

It was fun pretending to be a couple and especially with the crush she had on Sebastian. He was very sweet yet goofy and funny at the same time. She had the best time filming the music video and Belen couldn't ever remember having this much fun during work. Mostly because of Sebastian and the way he eased her nerves by getting her to laugh.

It occurred to her that she used to have fun. When it was just her and her teenage self writing songs in her bedroom. Her mom couldn't afford an actual piano like she wanted back then so Belen had to settle for an old Casio keyboard her grandparents got her for her twelfth birthday. It wasn't much but it was enough for Belen to learn on and enough to write songs with.

The songs she wrote back then were entirely hers. It was her and no Swedish songwriters. Not that there was anything wrong with the Swedish songwriters she worked with. They were brilliant and each song she wrote with them went platinum. They were like King Midas and everything they touched turned to gold. Belen was just some silly girl from Miami with a Casio keyboard so what did she know about the music industry, anyways?

There were a couple songs she wrote from those Casio keyboard days that ended up on her debut album but she didn't consider them hers anymore. They took songs like 'Piano' and 'Tattooed Heart' and then changed them so much that Belen didn't recognize them as her own songs anymore. They changed them from soft and slow ballads into pop hits.

Her creative input was almost non-existent on her albums. Sometimes they used a couple lyrics that she had written but most of the time they didn't. She sat in a corner as all the other songwriters and producers from the label talked amongst themselves, barely even noticing Belen. She kept to herself and long learned that it was no use trying to add anything to the discussion. They would just patronize her or look at her as if she were cute.

She remembered trying to get the label to sign off on 'Moonlight' being picked as one of the singles on her latest album. Belen was so proud of that song because she had written it entirely by herself for her then boyfriend. She was proud because in her opinion it was the best thing she had ever written and she didn't need anyone's input on it. However, the label and producers told her that she was lucky they were even putting it on the album. The song was apparently too slow and not upbeat enough for them to want to put on the radio.

All the plans Belen had for 'Moonlight' crumbled just like that. Her ideas for the different ways she could sing the song for every talk show performance she did were forgotten and her vision for the non-existent music video faded. It was for nothing and Belen figured that this was it for her.

She wasn't meant to be a songwriter.

Just a singer.

Other more talented people wrote the songs because they knew better than her. They had been writing songs a lot longer than she had. Some probably even before she was born. Besides...Belen still got to sing and perform for people. That was the main thing she always wanted, wasn't it? To perform for people? Belen always thought so and maybe that meant making compromises.

Save the songwriting for just herself and sing other people's songs.

"Belen, you did a great job tonight," Mila Zavala told her daughter, breaking the popstar out of her thoughts. Belen blinked and looked up at her mom, trying to put her thoughts to the back of her mind. They were both back at Belen's mansion after wrapping up shooting for the night.