[bxb] the forgotten promise | yeosang / ateez

• t w e n t y e i g h t •

“I wonder where Jongho is.” Hongjoong looks down as pouted, “Maybe he’s about to catch up on us now.”

“The other side of the town’s on fire. Did you think San and the others did that?” Yunho asks as he looked around, “I’m having a bad feeling about this.”

“They should arrive sooner or later or else, we’re going to leave them. We shouldn’t be wasting any time for this,” Seonghwa impatiently says as he kicked a pebble, “We’re running out of time.”

“I hope that they’re safe..” Hongjoong muttered before sitting on the ground as he hugged his knees, “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something bad happens to them.”

“There, there.” Seonghwa patted his bestfriend’s back as he showed an assuring smile towards him, “Don’t be like that. The others wouldn’t want you to be saying such a thing.”

“B-But I’m the leader.” Hongjoong lets out a whimper as he felt his emotions drowning him slowly, “I should be the one that is assuring that everyone is safe and supposed to be leading them to safety but after what happened to Mingi, I—”

“It’s not your fault,” Yunho immediately says to cut off the shortest male in their team, “It’s the bitchstick's decision to yeet himself off without even hesitating. Truth be told, I blamed myself for his death but I realized that Mingi wouldn’t want that so I am on my way to getting over it.”

“If only I've lead all of you better, that wouldn’t happen at all!” Hongjoong  exclaims as he gritted his teeth, preventing himself on crying.

“Don’t shed such sad tears now, leader. We still have a long journey to fullfill,” Yunho says before he looks up at the starless sky, “We shouldn't shed too much tears and all that we can do is to trust each other.”

“I just can’t stop thinking about it,” Hongjoong whispered, shutting his eyes “I just want everyone to be alright.”

“You’ve worked hard, Joongie. And you’ve been the pillar of this friendship ever since the beginning. You’ve kept all of us together until now,” Seonghwa said before kneeling beside the younger male and embraced him.

“I’ve been doing my best, Seonghwa.” Hongjong hugged his knees tighter ss tears are about to spill from his eyes, “Ever since I was young, I knew that I was unaccepted by my kind. I was loved by my family but I knew that my clan doesn’t. Most of the males are mortals yet I've became one of them and that’s already the sign that my life would be a melancholic one. I’ve been known as a disgrace for being a male valkyrie and I've been enduring everything!”

“The looks! The murmurs and tattletale! And their action towards me! It makes me feel sick, Seonghwa. I kept on crying because my kind that is supposed to be the one that’s supporting me is the one that dejects me. They should be my safety zone but everytime that I encounter one, I can’t help but feel afraid of what might they do to the pitiful me. I’ve been enduring it and training! I’m doing my best to make them proud of it as I kept my pride not just as a male valkyrie but also as a warrior. I’ve trained myself to death until I can be acknowledged as one because I thought that maybe if I gritted my teeth more and slept less to train myself, I can make them proud. Guess that I was wrong,” he adds as he chuckled bitterly on his own statement, “Their hatred towards me got worse and the worst part of it is that they’re afraid of me, afraid that I might be powerful than them to cause havoc. Just because I’m a man and not like them, they’re so wary of my actions to the point that I’ve been suffocated with everything.”

“Joong..” Seonghwa was speechless. Hongjoong is venting his suffering on them and he could've done it sooner but he kept his true self hidden so he suffered in silence.