a beautiful world | wolfstar

a beautiful world

He wished his brain would work. Somehow.

"Sirius...?" Only now did the fear of rejection kick in.

And yet... Remus wasn't afraid anymore. Not really. If Sirius didn't love him back, it would hurt. A lot. But if he did, then there was no way in hell Remus was going to keep running from his heart.

"You're not gay." Excellent start. "You said you weren't gay." That was sarcasm.

Remus looked at the grass, closing his book and setting it down. "No, I'm not."

What? "Then why - "

"I am bi though." Looking back up, he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about all the... I don't know. Sorry."

"Why did you say you were straight?"

A pause. "You probably didn't like me back," was the nervous reply. Remus twisted grass between his fingers, trying to slow his breathing. "I couldn't handle that."

A weird shakiness was plaguing Sirius. Like he wasn't quite touching the ground, but instead hovering slightly above it. His blood quivered in his veins.

And suddenly it clicked.

"You just kissed me."

Remus was looking a little distressed now. "Yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"Because...?"

A huff. "I'm an assassin who's trying to kill you. That kiss was actually me transferring a fatal poison into your saliva." Remus looked at his imaginary watch. "You will combust in about twenty-three seconds."

Sirius blinked. Then, slowly, a grin unravelled across his face.

"You kissed me because you like me."

"Congratulations!"

"Rude bitch."

"You know it." And because it seemed like Sirius was fine with it, Remus leaned in and kissed him again.

This time, both their mouths moved together. Remus kept pushing, until Sirius was leaning against the tree and Remus was in front of him.

One freckled hand held Sirius' wrist against the bark by his head. The other cupped Sirius' jaw, stroking at the soft skin, fingertips coarse from where they had been pressed against his guitar strings.

Sirius' mind was frenzied, trying to cling onto every single thing that was happening, his heart beating incredibly fast.

Remus had dry lips. They rubbed against Sirius' softer ones, catching at the skin. And Remus was rough. His teeth nipped and his tongue demanded more space.

They were so close. And Sirius' head was filled with frantic memories, there was nothing but their joined mouths, and the recurring realisation that Remus liked him.

Remus might even love him.

Christ, he was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.

And Remus? He didn't know why he had waited so long.

Sirius was breathing heavily, his hands tangled in Remus' hair, his mouth open and needy. Remus couldn't seem to stop kissing him. It just wasn't possible.

Except maybe it was a good idea. They had to talk.

Reluctantly, Remus pulled back again, blushing. Sirius had turned pink, his lips red and swollen, his chest rising and falling.

Beautiful. Truly beautiful.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

Remus smiled, and suddenly, his mind, which never seemed to slow, which always raced far too quick for him to grab onto anything concrete, stilled.

"Sirius Black."

The shorter boy smiled at him. "Remus Lupin." The name was sweet on his tongue.

There was a quiet. A quiet where Sirius let their hands tangle carefully together, and Remus brushed his fingers over Sirius' knuckles. Their knees were touching.

Sirius could see something beyond tomorrow, now. A life filled with Remus' voice and Remus' eyes and Remus' freckles, scattered everywhere, and the hard fingertips that Sirius wanted to feel against his skin forever.

And Remus could see something beyond yesterday. Beyond the grief of losing his mother, beyond the cracked glass and crumpled metal, because Sirius was smiling at him with that perfect red-lipstick mouth and those grey, grey eyes.

It was a beautiful world, filled with sunshine and birdsong, leaves curling clumsily and the water rustling beneath the still. It was a beautiful world, where life was captured in one tiny dewdrop of time.

And there were two boys, both damaged, both tired yet smiling, hands twined together in the grass as they sat between forgotten mugs of tea.

The breeze picked up just a little.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~end~