Invisible

8

"I don't know." He said, "I just miss you."

My heart skipped a beat. He has been always sweet and straightforward in my dreams but this is not a dream anymore. This is reality..

"Koeun?" I suddenly blinked and shook my head to erased my thoughts.

"Sorry," I said "I wasn't prepared for that confession."

He smiled and tapped the space beside him, I put my backpack down and closed the door as I walked towards him and sat to the empty space.

"Koeun-ah," he called again, I looked at him and raised my eyebrows, I saw him try to place his hand on my cheek I was waiting for it but it only went thru.

I saw how disappointed he looked. It wasn't working still, he still can't touch me, he smiled at me and scoffed.

"Who am I fooling.."

I also felt heartbroken. Who are we even fooling? Ourselves, that's who. I smiled at him and called him.

"Let's meet at my room?" I tried to sound upbeat, "I want to suddenly cuddle."

I saw him gave me a small smile, a painful one if I might add but nonetheless he nodded and stood up to go sit on the beanbag.

I didn't bother changing my clothes as I was too excited to meet him again in my dream. In our dream.

I was lying down but I couldn't get myself to sleep that night. And I knew Mark noticed because I felt his presence beside me, also laying down as he looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry, Koeun." He blurted, "I didn't know that we'd come this far."

I knew what he meant. And I didn't want to hear it. Not now.

"I never knew that meeting you, like personally meeting you would bring such an impact to me."

"I feel the same." I replied, "who knew that the soulmate I was actually looking for is an actual soul."

I heard him laugh and I can't help but giggle with him. He has this melodious laugh that I can only hear in my dreams but now it was reality. Either way, his laugh makes me smile and happy.

"I'm sorry if we could only be together in your dreams, Koeun."

I felt my heart broken into a million pieces with that statement.

"If the only place that I can be with you is in my dreams, then I'd gladly not wake up when morning comes." I repeated what I said before

He didn't say anything after that. I don't know what he was thinking but he didn't say or do anything. I drifted to slumber a couple minutes after as I still felt his presence beside me.

I opened my eyes and saw my room's familiar ceiling and Mark lying beside me, his eyes closed and his mouth a little agape.

I turned my body slowly facing him as I brushed off his hair away from his face carefully. So this is a dream, because I can touch him.

I then carefully traced his eyes down to his nose bridge to his lips, he looks stunning, I suddenly was surprised to see that he opened his eyes and was smiling widely at me.

"Yah!" I called but he just captured me with both his arms and carried me to be on top of him, as if he was cradling me.

We were just both laughing and tickling each other without any care in the world. I want us to be like this forever. Can we be like this forever?

He stopped and placed me back on my bed but still hugging me closely towards him, I did the same and encircled my arms around his waist, nuzzling my face on his chest as I closed my eyes and savour every moment I can touch him.

"I love you." He said, I opened my eyes but didn't bother looking up at him, I suddenly felt like my eyes well up as I also felt like something dripped on top of my head, I knew it was his tears, I knew he was crying because I can clearly feel and hear his heart beating really fast. "Koeun, I love you."

I also cried that time, shoving my face into his chest more as the tears soaked his shirt, "I love you too, Mark."

We hugged each other tighter than before, as if it will be the last time we could be together like this. It was supposed to be the happiest moment in our lives but we're just joking ourselves if we think that.

"This sucks." I heard him say as he chuckled and wiped his tears away, he also looked down to me and wiped my tears, "I hate this."

I agreed and nodded as I still nuzzled my face on his chest. He didn't say anything anymore but instead he just kissed the top of my head and hugged me tightly, resting his chin on my head as he hummed a lullaby.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mark." I said and closed my eyes, as I prayed that this dream would never end.

I wanted to stay like that forever. I wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with me. We both knew how we felt for each other. We both knew how happy we are together, we love each other.

But are we even allowed to be in love? Are we even allowed to be together? Or was it all going to be just a good dream?

"Always take care of yourself, Koeun-ah" was the last thing I heard Mark said as I opened my eyes and got back to reality.

I woke up feeling heartbroken and tired, tears started falling down as soon as I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I sat up and looked around my room only to realize that Mark wasn't here.

I couldn't stop crying and clutching my chest, the pain I felt just wouldn't stop hurting me. It hurts, so much. It hurts so much that I couldn't even breathe properly.

It hurts to be in love with someone you know you couldn't be with.

"It hurts to be in love with you, Mark."

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