the Darkness has Shown Me the Light (Crossmare)

Cross's Realization

   I looked down at my hands. They were shaky. I was back at my au. Ink and Dream had left thankfully. But dreams blood still stained the white floor of the void.
   All those times he pushed me away, was because he wanted to help me build my self confidence. All the times he visited Dream, and I got jealous, he was distracting himself from thinking of me. Because he knew I would just push him away. Leaving him all alone. And that time I stayed to see if he still wanted me after he kicked me out, and he said all those mean things to me. It was to tell himself He wasn't good enough for me. I was perfect, and he was just bringing me down. He did all of this, for Me. He had hurt himself for me. He pushed me away, someone who he lived for he pushed out of his life, to save, Mine.
   These thoughts kept running through my mind. I couldn't get them out. I looked up at my broken au. It was all white. I could have ended up like Error, and turned insane. But he, Nightmare, saved me. He took time out of his own life, to save my, useless, pathetic, helpless, life. He has done so much for me. And how did I repay it? By shutting him out. I felt terrible. I put my head in my hands, and sobbed softy.
   But, as I cried, I felt something. Something stirring within me. Rage and anger, mixed with the regret and sadness I felt. It was as if a dark negativity blanket was wrapped around me. Never letting me out. Suffocating me until I join the darkness, slowly consuming my soul. I looked up from my hands, my eyes still teary. I looked at the blood in front of me.
   I did that.  I thought to myself. I did that to the one person closes to Nightmare. I hurt his family. I couldn't stop the thoughts from coming into my head. I wanted to escape this. Voices kept screaming loud in my head. Negative thoughts tearing me down. So many voices ringing through my skull. I screamed out in hope that that would drown out the voices. But of anything, it just made them louder. And more unbearable.

   You're the one who hurt Nightmare.

   You're the one who got yourself into this mess.

   If anyone is to blame, it's you.

   You're the one who ate that apple.

   Nightmare was trying to help you! And what did you do? Push him away.

   He's done do much for you! And what have you done for him?

   The voices were so loud in my head. I couldn't take it. I wanted to rip my soul out, and tear it to pieces. But, the only thing stopping me was Nightmare. He wanted me to get strong. He wanted to show me that I'm strong by letting me go. That I can recover, and be just as strong. He wanted to show me that I can get through any challenge. And I can. I'll get through this, and prove to him, and myself, that I can get through anything life throws at me no matter what it is! And I will. And I'll do it, alone.
   Asking for help will only prove I am weak. That I can't be strong without someone there to do it for me. For someone having to carry my problems, when they clearly have their own. I can do it though. I'll get through anything. It might be hard, and the voices will come back. But, at least I'll be ready.