Claiming His Wolf

Prologue

"No, if you loved me you wouldn't be trying to leave me. We had a goddamn plan you asshole!" I shout at him as tears threaten to fall. I throw the angel pendant he got me, right at his face. It's made of a crystal we found when we were on a beach when we were much younger.

"Mads, listen." He mumbles making my blood begin to boil. I have had it up to here with people!

"We need space, you are young. I have finished college. You are just getting started in life, I can't destroy it. Being Alpha means our pack needs their natural-born leader. I don't want you to give up this. For me, for us. Especially since this has been your dream since way before we were ever mates." He explains being completely rational. Even now that we will be on a break, I know I love him with all my being. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

"Even though you will be across the country. My heart belongs to you. I will have Katie to keep me company, we will visit home when we can." I smile up at him.

He kisses me, not goodbye, not fair well. He kisses and holds me with love. He holds me as if he doesn't let me go now, he might not be able to control himself and let me go later.

Well after about a year, calls became painful and less frequent. Then they all stopped. I went back home a few times, Connor was never there. He did say four years. I am now done with school a year early. I worked my ass off because that is all I could do. To finally be with him. He sent postcards, letters. But any other contact was cut off. At the same time, I focused so hard on school, there wasn't much time for much socializing. Katie dragged me out as much as she could. She even tried setting me up with her human friends. Not knowing my mate was the leader of our pack.

She tried everything to get my mind off of him. She just thought we were casually dating. We couldn't tell anybody the truth. Which eventually she did, for a while I had a string of nights, and more nights abusing alcohol privileges. I didn't get caught, nor did I sleep around. But Connor's mom caught wind of little Mads up to no good. She sent me to AA classes. They were helpful for a while, so far I am seventeen months clean. You see, I never liked the scene, I didn't like the taste. I just loved how it could make me feel again. I could let loose and soar like a phoenix.

Connor is the Alpha to our pack now. Only a certain amount of us are allowed out, for these types of social norms, procedures are still in the making. You, see packs stick together. That is why Katie is here with me along with a few others. If we travel at all it is in pairs or small pack units. It is much safer for our kind. You see my mate is an Alpha. We so far haven't told our families about our discovery. If they would have found out, this would have gotten ripped away from me. I would have had to start luna training right away. He would have had to mark me and mate with me. I would have been his. But he didn't want that, I think that is why he pushed me away. He needed space. I felt for a long while that I didn't deserve him, but I was wrong. He doesn't deserve me. I was willing to be there for him 100 percent. What the hell did this man do? He let me go. If you love someone let them go, This is a famous saying everyone tried to tell me. But no letting someone go who doesn't want to go is cowardly especially if you want them to. Our relationship was perfect, except for the secrecy. I didn't like hiding our relationship for four years.

We grew up together, went to the same schools. He was like four years- almost five years old when I was born.

We have always been soul mates, he was my first everything. First kiss, first slow dance, first love. You name it, he was my first.  But all our firsts were done in secrecy, I didn't even start telling my best friend everything until, about 2 years ago, but it was only bits of it. She wasn't shocked, she knew I was heartbroken. She knew it was because of him, but she didn't want to pressure me into saying anything, I wasn't ready to say. She treated me as if I was glass for a little while.

Honestly, I was glass anything could have broken me during those moments. Imagine being ripped away from the thing you love most, but it's because of the thing you loved most that you were ripped away. Imagine every night calling, emailing, writing, and doing anything in your power to just get a glimpse of what was going on with the person you loved. And then having to give up because he didn't want your love.

But in a way, I get it. If we would have stayed the way that we were probably would have torn us apart. We wouldn't want to be together, but then we couldn't.

I am heading back home and I can't wait to see him. He is getting a big fat rejection.  Three years made me not want him the way I wanted him before. Three years made me see the bigger picture.

I can't look at him without seeing the heartbreak he left me with. Thinking about him brings back how much distance got put between our hearts. Unless somehow I miraculously fall in love with him again.  My heartbeat used to speed up when he walked into the room. When he walked into the room it was like no one existed. I could notice every little detail about him. That was all taken away. Now I got my degree, and now I have to go home face everybody.

The way our pack does rejection is probably one of the most miserable anxiety ridding social events ever. You get second-hand anxiety just witnessing it. Because you have to look directly into their eyes in front of the whole pack. And you have to explain why you reject them. If the moon goddess doesn't accept your request to reject. That means the person is your forever mate.  Which means she knows you can work it out.

I want it to work out, but then it's been years. He has been running our pack. He has been living life without me. I do not fit into the world he lives in now and he made sure of it.

I Madison Jasmine Stone does not need to be shut out. I need to be let in. I have grown over the years. He has too, so it's time we better start acting like adults. Like leaders of our pack.