River | John Seed

4- Resistance Scum

His lips curl in distaste as he scratches his beard. I couldn't help but want to run my hands over it again. When he caught me staring, I took a sip from the hot broth and instantly regretted it. The scorching liquid burned my tongue as it slid down my throat. Fuck, what's wrong with me.

"Next it'll be Jacob. But I will not let you go. They don't think I'm capable of atoning you, apparently. They don't think you'll say...Yes."

The mug is suddenly ripped from my grasp to be replaced by his hands. I stare at them holding mine. They were perfect, yet scarred and I had a love-hate relationship how they gave me butterflies.

I felt overrun with guilt that I was so attracted to him. Everything pulled me in. To his smell, his vivid eyes—eyes that told a tragic story, warmth—the kind that could possibly make you feel safe... and his touch. A touch irrevocably addicting but one that could also destroy lives.

"I'm...so guilty." I muttered.

I know how dangerous this man was. How twisted his thinking was, and yet, I...wanted to be with him intimately minutes ago. Why couldn't I be really dead? Then none of it would matter.

John's head tilts, giving me a look that says he's not following and wants me to continue. When I don't, he presses the issue.

"Guilty? Of what? We're all guilty of one sin or another."

I release a dry chuckle and shake my head as I convey the feelings I never wanted to admit—but I knew if I hid them, John would know and probably make me spit it out one way or another.

"JOHN!!!"

His face falls flat at the interruption, but I'm secretly grateful for it. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud... yet. I watch as he closed his eyes in a way to calm himself before he stood up and left me with my thoughts.

"The resistance is close! News spread that one got close to the ranch—"

"Have one of the others deal with it, I'm busy at the moment. I don't want to be disturbed for the rest of the evening."

"But—"

I hear John sigh with irritation, "What did I just say? Or should I get Joesph involved?"

Shots were fired in the distance causing John to locate his gun before snatching his leather coat.
The Peggie's quickly scramble and I see John follow them outside.

"IT'S THE RESISTANCE SCUM!" One Peggie shouts.

I sit up and try to peer out the window by the bed, wanting to see where John is but also wanting to know if I recognize any of the resistance. Of course I wouldn't though, I didn't know many people in this town besides friends of my parents. As far as I knew, they were all long gone by now.

More shots fired, followed by a grenade and I stumbled off the bed from the house shaking.

"WE NEED BACK UP!"

Groaning, I lift up and drag myself forward with my arms, still unable to feel my legs from whatever medicine John gave me.
I need to get out of here!

I need to find a gun and escape, even if I have to drag myself the whole way.

The door suddenly busted open startling me as a series of thunderous footsteps rushed towards me. "Teevin!"

A window broke as what looked like a smoke grenade tumbled inside. "Teevin! Grab onto me!" John leaned down, wanting me to climb onto his back. Smoke began to fill up the room, and before I couldn't see, I gripped his jacket and pulled myself up farther until I could wrap my arms around his chest and neck.

He runs out the back doing his best to evade the ongoing war outside, holding my legs. As we come up to his garage, I see a resistance soldier from the corner of my eye appear.

"John, watch out!" I pull his pistol from his holster and shoot at a resistance soldier about to shoot him. I missed on purpose, but it did enough to make him move out of the way so no one got hurt.
John whipped around the back and threw me into his yellow plane before taking the pistol from my grip. "We'll come back once it's safe again."

When he runs to the other side, I push against the door trying to fall out of the plane but wasn't strong enough to open the latch. "Dammit no!"

John slides in and slams his door and leans over me to make sure mine is secure. If only my legs weren't useless.

Roaring the engine to life, he immediately takes off, sending us high in the air. Bullets shoot pass but John maneuvers us away and pushes my head down into his lap.

"You're safe now."

As we fly into the sunset, I lift up and stare at John. The setting sun beating off his face gives the illusion his eyes are green. God I hate how handsome he is.

"John, why can't I feel my legs?"

He's silent as he guides us through the empty sky, "That's the medicine, it was suggested I gave you an epidural while they stitched your leg up and give you blood."

That made no sense. "It sounds as if you just didn't want me to run away."

John smiled and began laughing. The sight was adorable, he had such a contagious smile. But it was also off-putting, like he didn't like what I said.
"You're right. I didn't want you to run away. I was afraid as soon as you woke up—you would leave me."

"But I really thought I was in heaven with you." I shy away at the memory of me being so bold and practically forcing myself on him. How could I have been so stupid!?

He turns my chin, gazing at me now with a serious face and I find it hard to breathe under his intense stare. "We'll find our heaven again."

My heart pounds, jumping into my throat. I can't help it, he pulls me in like a magnet with his strong arms and before I know it—I'm kissing him again. This time, however, he was the one who kissed me first.

His fingers trail up and down my spine as he pulls me into his chest. But I break away, regretting that I gave in to my desires once more. I can hear his jaw clenching but I refuse to make eye contact. Knowing full well he will just put me under another trance.

I shouldn't be wanting him like this, he's corrupt.