You // Quinx Squad x Reader (oneshots, shenanigans and scenarios)

Sasaki Haise x Fem!Reader: Unravelling the world

Until the day that you find me...

"[Y/N]"

"Yes, Haise?"

"...I'm tired"

I'll stand here existing and feeling wretched existence.
Consuming life-force 'til I grow distant

Af first, you looked confused at him, not knowing how to reply to what he said, since you didn't even expect such an answer, until you hugged him tighter and sighed a little.

He was tired.

Both physically and mentally.

And you understood him.

Haise knew that there was no one in this wide world who could understand him better than you did and that made you even more special in his eyes, his love for you only growing. But he wasn't able to show it. Not anymore. Even though he loved you deeply.

Don't bother searching for somebody like me...

But as you continued to repeat in your mind...

He wasn't Haise anymore.

He was Kaneki Ken, known as the Eyepatch ghoul.

But even if it was for a short while, he decided to keep his identity as Sasaki Haise.

Until he will decide what he'll do in the future.

Until he will decide if it's better to become a ghoul again.

Until he will be ready for the future.

But was he ready to leave you behind?

A fading no one...

Even if he wasn't showing it anymore, you knew that Haise still loved you. This "new" Haise loved you. And only you.

"Maybe you can't tell me what's going on inside your head" you said after a moment of silence. "Maybe I wouldn't understand if you told me. Maybe I can't help you feel better. But even if you push me away... Even if you're changing... Even if you don't... love me anymore... I will still love you, no matter what. My love for you will always be there with you and you'll know that I'm right there beside you. Never forget that I love you and I'll stay by your side, Haise..."

I don't  want to hurt you, it's not my nature...

"...If I were to be a ghoul... would you still stay?" He asked almost in a whisper as you looked confused at him. "Would you still love a monster like me?"

"Haise..." you whispered, softly caressing his raven hair. "Of course I will. Because I trust you. And because I know you... you love me... And even if you'll hurt me... I'll always know that you didn't mean to... Even if you don't see it... You're my savior, Haise. You saved me from a monochrome world and taught me how to love and to to be happy... Now it's my turn... to make you feel better..."

By now, you were fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes as Haise just held you tightly, inhaling your scent.

"A monster born from dusk to dawn can't be your savior" he said as he exhaled deeply

Remember the me...
The way I used to be

"Haise... my loving Haise... What happened to you that made you change so suddenly? Why aren't you talking to me?" You thought as you could feel the warm tears rolling down on your face

As who I still should be...

"[Y/N]..." He called your name in his soft voice, as he used to in the past as you could feel your tears falling faster from your eyes. "I'm tired... so tired... of faking a smile. I'm tired of saying that I'm fine. I'm tired of lying to you. I'm tired... of trying to be who I'm not. I'm tired of living this life. I-I'm tired of everything... I... I want to give up... B-but the thought of quiting you... I-I..."

I'll never move,
I'll never lose,
I'll never move,
I'll never lose,
I'll never move,
I'll never lose you...

He broke down to tears, holding you tightly as you cried silently, your hand still running through his black hair.

Unravelling the world...

He couldn't take it anymore. All of these overwhelming feelings that were locked in his heart were finally set free and turned into bitter tears that he wished to shed for so long... The tears that he wanted to shed for the lost subordinate... The tears that he wanted to shed when the Quinx Squad was falling apart... The tears he wanted to shed when he saw what he become... The tears he wanted to shed when he realised that a lifetime with you won't be happening anymore... All of those tears were falling from his beautiful grey orbs...

At once, I start changing,
Yet everything's remaining.
These lives I felt, would join as one.
They fade away before they've begun...
I'm breakable,
Unbreakable.
I'm shaking yet,
Unshakable...

Taking a deep breath, you cupped his face with your hands after you took off his glasses and put them on your head to see his face clearly. You wiped his tears away as he took one of your hands in his gloved ones and softly kissed the inside of your hand as he fought back more tears that threatened to fall again from his eyes.

Until these hands contaminate you...

"F-forgive me" he whispered as you could feel his body trembling against yours. "I-I don't know w-what's with me tonight"

"Haise..." you spoke as he looked deep into your [E/C] orbs. "How many times have I told you that it's okay? It's okay to cry, to laugh, to go crazy, to curse, to do whatever you want in front of me. I won't judge you... As long as it's making you feel a little bit better, I won't stop you. I'm no stranger... I'm your girlfriend, Haise... We share tears, we share laughs, we share kisses, we share moments together... So don't apologize. It's not a crime to show emotions and you know that. It only proves that you're just a human being, you know...?"

"A human... being..." he muttered, looking away

"Yes, a human being, Haise" you said, still holding his face, making him look at you. "Human, quinx, ghoul, monster. Doesn't matter. You're the only one for me... and I wouldn't have you any other way. I love you. I love the way you are. I simply just love you, what else should I say to make you understand alreay?"

He went silent, but he was still looking into your eyes with such admiration. He was thankful... that you will still love him, no matter what the next day has in store for the both of you.

You gently took him by the hands and guided him to your bedroom, making him lay down on your bed as you sat next to him, his head resting in your lap while you carresed softly his black hair, whispering comforting words. His eyes started to feel heavy, closing them after a while and in the silence of the night, you heard his soft breathing, making you smile at him.

So don't forget me.
You can't forget me.
You won't forget me.
Please don't forget me!

Haise was sure that if he were to search for love like yours in the whole world, he won't find it. Because the only love he needs is yours. Your arms are his shelter and home is where you are. He knew... he knew that if he continued to live like Haise, he would be happy, but...

Would it be fair for the ghouls he left behind? His other family?

He felt stuck in between, not knowing which side to pick...

But he knew that if he would accept his ghoul side again, you would understand him and maybe even support him and stay by his side. You were simply his one and only...

And you knew that no one could make you feel like Haise...

Even if the world seems to be unravelling in front of your eyes, discovering new feelings each and every day that goes by... You don't mind, as long as it's beside your lover...

.
.
.

You choose to stay.

--------------------------

A/n: I... umm... uhh... what the... shit... uhh... ummm.... UHHHH

I don't have anything else to say as I don't know what to say

What do y'all think about it?