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i want to be a writer or a film producer. i want to make a difference. i say i want a lot of things and i can't ever bring myself to stay committed to them. it's scary really, it's important to be committed and i feel like that's what's holding me down, it's what's preventing me from being me i guess, from everything. how do you feel about banana bread? i feel like it's under and over rated? i dunno. i watched IT chapter two and stranger things season 3, i guess those two things make up who i am, i'm at a constant battle with ships. i ship byler, reddie, stenbrough (pobably spelled it wrong oops..) and ryler or ryeler however it's spelled. at my school there are some people who get it, others just point at you and share whispers i don't mind them because i'm pretty used to it at this point. i feel like everyone's used to somethings that hurt them deep inside and they shouldn't be. i want to be free. i want to be able to see beauty in it's purest form, i want to see flowers, trees, people i've never seem before. i want to see. i feel blinded but i'm slowly getting there.
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i was raised to be honest, but the truth can be complicated. It doesn't matter if the truth won't make a mess, sometimes the words don't come out until you're alone. Sometimes the truth is a secret you're keeping from yourself because living a lie is easier. - mateo
