Second Chance (*ONHOLD*)

Chapter 1

Welcome to the first step of long journey .

Caily

I sat down on the cold bathroom floor knowing well my legs won't be able to hold me any longer because  my anxiety level at the higest point right now.

I didn't go to work today with  all the intention of doing this today . But since Dan left in the morning I was trying to gather my courage to do this test. I knew sooner or later Dan will fill little gaps and find out what is wrong with me . My unusual behavior was obvious. I was sick past few days .

I stared at the stick before me nervously . I don't know what to expect . Part of me wants it be positive but bigger part of me wants it to be negative cause this result will completely change my life.

I was sweating badly and I hugged my knees to my chest . Only 30 seconds left . I swollowed hard .

I prayed for all gods to let everything be alright whatever the result is . But I knew  it's going to be positive with the synopsis I felt last few days. I was sick for the past few weeks .I thought I was having a stomach bug .  It become severe because I started to faint last 2 days. I figure it out what is happening with my body .

I braced myself to take the stick out and look at it .

It was two lines .

I'm pregnant .

Oh god . No , Dan is going to be furious with me.

I started shaking and I understood I'm getting a panic attack if I don't calm myself right now. I took small breaths while counting deseperatly trying to calm down.

I panted hardly feeling weak all of sudden. I layed on the cold floor ignoring the coldness of the surface. I blinked swollowing sobs trying to escape. But I couldn't . I cried hardly feeling so helpless all of sudden .

I was all alone in this world. No parents . No siblings . No friends . No one beside Dan to share my feelings with . I never felt so alone until this moment. I cried and cried until I fed up and tootired to do that . I stopped evetually and curled into a ball drawing away coldness .

I decided  to take the risk and tell about my test to my husband . I wanted to tell someone about my pregnancy even though that person is Dan .  I felt like I wouldn't be able to breath if I didn't reveal  this to someone soon . Dan has the right to know . He is my husband , Father and the man I love more than anything in the world.

I don't know how long I stayed laying on the floor while staring at the bathroom  wall ahead of me.  I was exhausted with all the things happening .When I look at the time ,it was almost time .

Dan will be home soon . 

I panicked remembering with all the things  I did not prepared dinner for him. For the whole day I  did nothing but played with my mind trying to take this pregnancy test since the morning . I only gathered strength to do so right now.

I'm screwed .

Dan really hates it when he has to eat from outside and I always loved to cook him meals. Beside I enjoyed cooking and baking slighty less than  reading. I'm a huge reader. Dan says that I am addicted to reading because I tend forget him and my surrounding when I start reading . Dan really hates it when he doesn't get my attention .

Knowing I am not mentally  stabled to cook us dinner , I decided to order pizza for both of us . But I am pretty sure we both wouldn't eat dinner once I reveal this news to him .

I sat on the sofa with the pregnancy stick clenched in my hands .

When Dan and I get married he wanted us to enjoy our life only two us for long time before we start a family . Even though I always wanted have kids sooner , I agreed to his wishes . We both agreed  that we will have our first baby when I am 27 which still have 3 more years . He was not  really okay with having kids of our own at first when we start dating but once he get to know how deseperatly I wanted kids , he reluctantly agreed have kids.