Our little secret

Chapter 21

"Long night?" Josh joked as he was rooting through Hopes drawers to find her pyjamas

I slightly laughed "Nah not really" I sarcastically said as I went over to a different set of drawers and took out Hopes pyjamas

"So has everyone gone?" He asked standing up and walking over to me

"I think so yeah" I turned around to face him

"Thanks for everything Josh, you've always been there for me" I softly smiled

"And I always will be" he smiled back

I then went back into reality and went over to Hope who was just playing with her dolls, I got her into her pyjamas and tucked her into bed giving her a kiss goodnight, she soon started to fall asleep so once she started drifting off I stood up and turned off her light leaving the door open and going into my room

I turned around and Josh was stood there "I'm surprised you haven't left yet"

"I don't really want to be home right now, is it okay if I stay for a little longer?" He asked moving more into my room and looking down at the floor

"Why what's going on?" I asked curiously

"Me and Ellie broke up, it's why I moved back over here" Ellie was his girlfriend who I met back in Florida, he loved her so much I remember Josh talking about proposing when I  was over there so he must be taking this hard

"Josh I'm so sorry, you can stay here tonight if you want" I offered feeling sorry for him, he looked so hurt I could see the pain in his eyes when he talked about her

"Thanks" He gave me a small smile I could tell he was forcing himself to smile

"Why did you break up, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked, maybe if he talked about it he would feel better. Also I was curious.

"You" He said like it was that simple

I forced a laugh because I felt so awkward "W-What?" I was not expecting him to say that

"She was always paranoid and jealous of you" I relaxed a little but I felt bad I was the reason they broke up

"Oh, for a minute there I thought you broke up because you had feelings for me, which would be crazy ... right?" He took a step closer,

I hoped that he didn't it would be weird Josh is my friend, one of my best friends, he can't possibly like me. Can he?

"Would that be so crazy?" I didn't know what to think I hadn't thought about Josh in this way in years

Before I could say anything else Josh kissed me, I quickly reacted and pushed him away "What the hell are you doing!" I said raising my voice,

Josh was my friend and I loved Lucas but now I was confused I hadn't thought about Josh in this way for years

"Sorry" He said stepping away

"I'm not some rebound Josh, you're one of my best friends" I said a little calmer, but still thinking over some things in my head

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" he said turning away from me

I grabbed his hand and made him face me "It's okay" I could tell he felt embarrassed, this wasn't like him at all.

"You're just hurting, I get it but don't go around kissing your existing friends" I said a joking tone lightening the mood

He slightly laughed "I know, I really am sorry it won't happen again" he apologised again

"You don't have feelings for me though do you?" I asked just making sure I didn't want things to be weird between us

"No don't worry, I just wasn't thinking" he forced a smile, some part of me felt a little upset that he didn't have feelings for me but that's probably just because I'm upset about everything with Lucas

I thought about this for a while and it was probably a mistake... I let go of Josh's hand and kissed him "What was that for"

"I'm not sure, you confused me" I admitted

"I think we're both upset from not being with the people we love" I tried to rationalise this situation, I think I'm just a magnet for drama and trouble.

"Probably" he agreed "So this would be a mistake right?"

"Totally a huge mistake" I nodded in agreement but I still felt weird maybe I should just let things with Josh happen, who knows maybe we could be each other's rebounds

"Okay I know that look on your face, what are you thinking?" Josh made an observation, I guess I wasn't hiding my emotions as well as I thought

I didn't say anything I just looked at him and leaned in closer but then we both heard a knock on the door, so I moved away and took a step back

I ignored the door it was late and all our friends had gone home so it probably wasn't anything important and now I had just kissed Josh and I don't know what to do, but we needed to figure it out