[FINISHED STORY]Travis Phelps Diary(Sally Face)

You Need To Understand

Sorry this is so late and I haven't posted in who knows how long so thought I should get a chapter out

The next few months were like a dream. Ive been dating Sal. I wake up in my bed to screams. Its about 3 maybe 4 in the morning. I clutch my blanket knowing my parents will be done fighting soon and my dad will take over in a drunken rage..the usual..but then the screams stop..somethings wrong..I sit up and get out of the bed. Slowly walking down the stairs trying to make them not creek.. As I'm getting closer to the Kitchen from the stairs I see something on the floor...A Body...I run, stumbling down the stairs and onto the floor next to my moms body. She was beaten..to death and she lays lifeless in front of me.

Travis(Me)- "Help..."

I mumble and sob not knowing what to do..then I see him..My Father..in the corner with an evil grin..he lifts something up...my necklace...that my mom gave me..and holds up my phone..to show the texts between me and Sal..

Father- "She had to die Travis..for bringing a Faggot like you into this world. Go to your room and if I see you talk to that queer kid hes dead."

He throws the necklace at me and the sharp part of the cross cuts my cheek..He then breaks my phone in half. I run upstairs to the bathroom.

Trigger Warning

I look in the mirror at the cut on my cheek and process everything going on...

Travis(Me)- "Your mom's dead because of you Travis..Youre a faggot..a queer..everything you feared..your existance is a sin."

I repeat the words crying well looking at myself through the mirror..I take the sharp part of the cross and start cutting my wrists.

Travis(Me)- "Si-Sinner.."

Deeper and Deeper with each cut..blood and tears filling the sink.

Travis(Me)- "Die...Kill Yourself Travis..Do It..Fucking Die...Please...DIE.

I kept screaming at myself to die before falling on the tiled floor sobbing letting my cuts leak everywhere.

Trigger Warning Over

I wake up on the cold tile floor and flinch from my wrist hurting. I put on the necklace that still has blood on it and realize it's a school day. I get dressed and walk down the stairs. My dads sitting at the Kitchen table.

Travis(Me)- "Wheres mom?"

Father- "I don't know Travis. You tell me. Its your fault shes dead."

He gets up and walks over punching me and giving me a black eye. Hes right..I knew damn well she was dead even before I asked where she was..I just hoped it was some nightmare. I walk out the door and can't even cry anymore..Im so numb. As I walk into school and grab the stuff from my locker Sal runs over looking worried.

Sal- "Travis! Is everything ok? You didn't answer my texts.."

I can't let him get hurt..Even if I told him or tried to explain..I need him to hate me to get my dad to not hurt him.

Travis(Me)- "Look..Queer..Did you think I really loved you? Get away from me."

Even if Sal is wearing a mask I can tell when hes crying...His voice sounded muffled...I couldnt take it.. I wanted to scream that I loved him..Let him know he was all I wanted..I want him to be safe..He ran away crying. A little while later during lunch when I was in the males bathroom..in one of the stalls crying..I hear a familiar voice..

???- "Hello?"

Its a female. A female? Can she be in here? What the fuck?

Travis(Me)- "Ash?"

Ash- "Hey Travis.."

Travis(Me)- "What the fuck are you doing in the boys bathroom?"

Ash- "Looking for you. Come on out..please."

I walk out and wipe my tears which doesnt really work. Ash looks at me then pulls me into a hug.

Ash- "Travis..We both know you love Sal..why did you tell him that?"

If I told Ash she might get hurt..but I need to tell someone. So I tell her everything that happened..and she started to tear up too..still hugging me tightly.

Ash- "Travis...Im sorry this happened..Be strong Honey..You need to be strong."

Travis(Me)- "How Ash? Its my fault. I lost Sal..I lost my mom..I lost my friends...I have nothing left to even lose thats meaningful."

Ash- "I can think of something...Your life."

Travis(Me)- "Thats meaningless..My life doesn't matter Ash.."

I roll up my sleeves to show my cuts..and Ash starts crying..Ive rarely seen her cry..Ash is strong..Seeing her losing her cool..losing her pride..becoming the cry baby people would see her as..its how I know she loves me..Its how I know she loved Larry...when she cried about him..because she thought she was losing him only now shes crying more cause she doesn't think shes losing me..she knows she's losing me..and I'm losing me..

Death.
Its one thing I can achieve.