coffee with cream ━━ s.cb + l.fx

-three-

I can focus on my paper, or I can focus on how he runs his fingers through his hair after he finishes a drink. I can write about the symbolism of tradition or I can write about the way his lips form a heart shape when he concentrates on something, and the soft wisps of hair that settle at the base of his neck.

So instead of writing my paper I draw him with my words, trying to capture his unparalleled perfection in text. And when I'm writing about him every other part of the world stops.

I hear someone call his name, Felix, and then I write his name without realizing it, almost choking as I rush to erase it.

I look around, as if someone is looking over my shoulder, and then find myself smiling at my foolishness. It's like a middle school crush, my stomach twists whenever I see him and I can't stop smiling.

When I walk up to the counter he smiles widely at me, handing over my coffee and then getting back to work again. Today all of his rings have large, gaudy gems on them in all colors. I flip the napkin as I'm walking, overeager, and as I sit down I see only one letter written on it.

D

It's odd, sure, but also oddly disappointing. It's like he failed to meet an expectation that wasn't really set in the first place, it's not something I can go up and talk to him about.

Hey you didn't do the thing that you do that I don't know why you do but you do and you didn't do it this time.

That would go over well.

But it sucks the giddiness out of my demeanor, and I go back to writing, oddly demoralized.

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 update as promised. thoughts on the story so far?

feedback is always appreciated!