Reaction || Malum ||

34

Michael's POV

Skin against skin is the way I woke up this morning. The early sun was peaking through my curtains but I was staring at the sleeping boy on my chest. I've only been awake for a half an hour but I can't bear to move. Even though I really have to pee. Just as I was about to slip away from Calum's grip, my phone began to buzz against my chest. It was my work. I wasn't supposed to go back until Monday, I wonder what they wanted. Sliding my thumb over the screen I answered the call but was careful not to wake Calum.

"Hello?" I said quietly and Sharon, my boss, was on the other end.

"Michael! I'm so sorry it's early but Steve has the flu, do you think you could fill in for him today?" She rushed her words.

"What time is his shift?" I asked running my hand through my hair, still staring at Calum. He was pouting like he usually does and his hair was a mess.

"10." She said and I checked the clock next to my bed that said it was barely 8 o'clock. Going back to work would at least get me out of the house.

"I'll be there." I said happily and she thanked me repeatedly. I sighed and sat my phone down on the table. I suppose that I should get up and get dressed.

Carefully so I didn't wake Calum up, I slid myself out from under him and watched as he stirred in his sleep. I stood close to the bed and hoped that he'd go back to sleep and he did. He curled up against himself and continued to snore softly. I smiled at him one last time before heading to the bathroom to shower. Evidence of last night littered my bedroom and the hallway, all leading up to the lamp we broke. I chuckled to myself as I scooped up my shirt from in front of the bathroom door and went to get in the shower.

What happened last night wasn't easily washed off with a little soap and water. Calum had left marks on my chest and I swear I could still feel his lips on my skin. The heat was still evident, radiating from my skin like it was on fire and I never wanted to ever forget what it felt like. I knew there were scratches on my back from the way that the hot water stung which only added to the pleasure I was still feeling. Calum had consumed me. The sex last night was just his final step in taking over my entire being. I made love to him last night. That was a huge step for both of us.

I just hope Calum didn't freak out.

For me this could be a way in but for Calum it could be a way out. Every time we take a step forward, Calum takes an emotional step back. It's frustrating sometimes because I feel so ready to just love him with everything I have, but he pushes me away. I know he does love me or he would've walked away in the beginning but lately I just feel like I give him a part of me and he gives it back. I love him too much to let him go, as painful as it is sometimes to fight. I'll have to just go with the motions and keep doing what I have to to keep him safe.

It's sickening to grow older and realise love isn't anything like the movies and novels. When we are little love appears like this great beautiful thing with hearts and flowers when in reality, it's a constant battle. Love is fiction. Perfect love doesn't exist except for in the pages of books and scenes of movies. True love, the kind you find like I've found in Calum, is trying. It demands, it twists and it pushes you to the brink. It makes you feel in ways you never have and never want to ever again. It takes you over like a disease, inhabiting every part of your body until you are infected with it. No love isn't red hearts and kisses, it's the feeling you get when you see the person you love asleep, or laughing, or crying their eyes out. It's the twisting and gnawing in your chest when you see the way their eyes twinkle with excitement. Love is the punishment you get when you've done them wrong. It's not just the words, it's not just how many times you kiss their lips, it's every time they cross your mind. Every single fucking time they are the only thing you can see when you close your eyes. Love is beautiful, love is persistent and love is terrifying.