Parent!lock AU; A Study In Teens

Selflessness brings nothing more than pain

Mazie said nothing until the plane landed, and when she did finally spoke, it wasn't to any of the people on the plane. It was only to thank the cabbie.

She won't meet anyone's eyes, terrified they'll see inside of her and see the insecurity blossoming in her ribs and infecting her mind.

Once to the flat, she hides in her room,
Closing her side off and grabbing her laptop and turning it on. Her blog followers must be confused as hell. She starts to type. About everything. Her feelings, her dads, her brothers, her enemies, who she thought really cared. As soon as she presses enter, comments burst up.

"God, you're so strong"

"You're so awesome, stay strong bae"

"We love you and support you, no matter how you feel"

"You're cooler than a cucumber, girl"

Her heart went heavy, hurt that people she didn't even know supported her more than her family would. These people, or so called pedophiles, we're better than anyone. Behind a screen, they can't see your eyes. They can't see that you're hurt. She slams her lid, pulls her knees up to her chest and starts mumbling how distance was safe. She didn't notice Lestrade walk in and sit on her bed. She didn't notice the new, shiny, real gold ring on his finger.

"Good after noon, Mae." Lestrade greets, his voice quiet, "You're dad wanted me to check on you."

"Get the hell out of my room, Gregory" Mazie mutters.

"Hey, that's Uncle Gregory." Lestrade held up his left hand.

"Who cares?" Mazie scowls at the hand, hating that more people wanted to protect her, "You just want to come, ask if I'm okay, and then not believe me when I say no. I mean, I'm not now that papa is being a dick."

"Watch your language." Lestrade sighs,
"You're a smart girl, Mae, and I think you'll come to your senses. For now, you're uncle and I really want you to come out of your room."

"I don't give a crap, Greg." A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of leaving her room, "maybe when as college accepts me, I'll come out of my room and say goodbye before leaving forever and not showing up to family reunions."

"You're going to have to eat. And talk to people. You have to make friends-"

"I don't have friends anyways." Mazie sneers, "Everyone is too stupid to make friends with."

"Mazie Hudson Holmes, you know that you're lonely and all you want is for someone to wrap you up in a blanket and compliment you for being a genius without working for anything. You don't want to work for things you want them to be given to you."

"Don't be so stupid, I do try. I try very hard. You no one ever gives me the credit. They compliment me for inheriting papas intelligence." Maze seethes, "They never ask me how I got to be so smart. They just think I got it from my parents."

"Greg, that's enough." Sherlock barges into the room, "I think I can talk to her now."

"She's just like John-"

"I am not!" Mazie chucks a pillow at Greg and he ducks out of the room, "I'm my own damn person. A child doesn't have I be like their parents. A child's personality doesn't have to be from their parents, it's from themselves."

"You're being so selfish." Sherlock seethes, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but your whole family has thought you have been dead for the past three weeks, so go out there and-"

"I'm selfish? I'm selfish?" Mazie points to her chest, standing up indignantly, "I'm as far from selfish you can get, Sherlock. I was. But then I realized- and yes, this is all your fault- that selflessness doesn't get you anything but pain."

"Why are we even fighting anymore?" Sherlock loses his posture, slouching against the wall. He suddenly looks older than normal.

"Because." Mazie's eyes reflected a storm, almost the color of a crashing waves, "Because you tell me what to do. You tell me what to feel. You tell me how I feel. You think you know me, but I don't even know me anymore, so what makes you think you do?"

"Because I raised you-"

"No! I raised me! You were out trying to teach your sons how to be smart. I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough I would be as special as the younger ones. They were your favorites because they were young enough not to remember our real parents." A flood of past emotions almost knock Mazie over and she has to grab on to her night stand, "I'm so sick of being just like someone. I'm so sick of being second best. I'm so sick of waiting my turn. At least Moriarty didn't underestimate me."

"Then go live with him!" Sherlock shouts. He felt like Mazie just shot him, being compared to James.

"I don't need to live with anyone." Mazie whips around and pulls out a suit case, "you, of all people, should understand. Growing up with Mycroft, you should now what it was like to be second best. You should know what it feels like to be constantly compared. You should understand." She shoves clothes into the suitcase as she talks.

"Mae, calm down." Sherlocks rushes up to her suit case, unpacking her clothes, "You're not leaving."

"I'm sure as hell not staying her." Ella slams the kid of the suit case, "I can pick up my stuff later."

"Mazie, stop." John is at the doorway.

"Are you going to tell me how I feel? Are you going to sob and say I'm just like my papa? Or maybe I'm just like you? Are you going to say Will and Ham need me?" Mazie shrinks in size, backing up and sitting on her bed. Her face looks like a child's, but broken. A tear slides down her cheek and she angrily wipes it away.

"I told you." Sherlock sighs, taking the suit Case of the bed, "You're not okay."

"You don't understand." Mazie growls as her dads sit down on either side of her, "god, I'm so stupid for thinking..." She shakes her head, crawling to the corner her bed was pushed up by. "I'm so stupid for thinking you would jut accept that Moriarty didn't break me. You can't believe that someone is out there that is stronger than you."

"Mae, dear, it was unhealthy. What you were doing to yourself. Building up walls..." Sherlock shakes his head, wanting to die at the thought of having his daughter turn into who he was before John. "I love you."

"Really?"

It was too late.