bits and pieces

20 / 9 / 2019

Well, I' m home rn because of the haze which I think might be good because I get to spend the day at home. But the bad thing is that, PT3 is coming in just a few days and here I am on my Wattpad pouring my heart out because I'm just so mad at my mom. Yeah, I know I don't have the right to do so but I just can't help it. She just annoys the shit outta me and I'm hella effing sad rn. I do everything that she told me to do and yet she appreciate none of it while my brother did nothing for her and she can just talk all day about how good he is. Can't my mom just see how hard I'm actually trying to please her. She just think about herself never about me. She never care if I've had my meals or not. She wouldn't even care if I actually die starving. Nah, who would, right ? I'm effing nobody. Rn I'm just so tired and so sad. I just want somebody who will actually care for me, hear me, and just love me for who I am. I know I've got so many flaws, and believe me, I'm always working on it. Why can't anybody see that ? Why am I always left with a broken heart and I'm always the one to mend it. I'm already tired of crying. I don't have money like others have. I don't have a mom who would cook my favourite food for me. I don't have a father who would bring me on a holiday. I don't have a family who would understand and appreciate me. I'm all alone. Few days back, I got a fever, cough, and actually catch a cold and my mom said I'm actually sick because I've been depressed. Little did she know that she's one of the reason though. I wonder what her reaction will be like if I told her just that. She might just ignore me and continue bragging about how good of a mother she actually is. And she might just say how ungrateful I am after what she's done for me until now. Hahahhahahahaha. I'm sorry mom because I write this but it's better than me saying this on your face or at least that's what I think. Don't get me wrong, I do love my mom but she's been getting on my nerve a lot.