Four To The End (prev Shifting Lines) - Book One (Marauder Era)

Chapter Thirty - Still Figuring Out This Friend Thing

"Class dismissed," Dedenne said as she carefully arranged the returned tests on her desk. "Oh, Mr. Lupin...?" Remus froze, waiting. Dedenne stared at him then lowered her gaze. "Never mind, you can go."

Remus felt so glad that Defense was the last class of the day. He wanted to go up to his dorm to sleep however sunset was only a couple hours away now, so he needed to go. As the Gryffindors began splitting off, Remus hesitated then said, "I'm not feeling too well, I--I think I'm going to go see Madame Pomfrey."

James and Peter both nodded while Sirius looked relieved. All three of them could see how not well he'd looked all day. Paler than normal, the shadows under his eyes darker, a sheen of sweat constantly appearing on his forehead. He had heard them at breakfast discussing how awful he looked, heard them whispering about how he shouldn't even be at classes when he looked ready to keel over. It hadn't been just them; Remus heard down the table Colgate asking Lily if Remus was all right.

Sirius was obviously glad Remus opted for the hospital wing. "We can take you."

"Th--that's okay," Remus said quickly. "Thanks though. I'll c--catch up with you at dinner."

"All right, see ya buddy," James said.

Once at the hospital wing, Pomfrey wrapped a cloak around him to disguise him for their adventure into the rain. They squelched across the grounds to the Whomping Willow, where Pomfrey threw rocks at the knot until one of them landed, and Remus was able to scramble into the passage by himself. He took the cloak off, shaking it out, then got his wand out, lighting it up to make his way down the tunnel.

*

It was a night of no transformation. He curled up naked under a blanket on the couch, listening to the rain pattering against the building, a few tears sliding across his cheeks. He was really cold, and shivered, tugging the blanket tighter around him, wishing he had a fire or something. He wanted to use the fireplace but didn't know if it would work properly. Winter's only going to be worse, he thought, wriggling a bit so he could wrap himself up even more. He considered just putting his clothes back on however in case he did transform he didn't want to destroy his uniform. Maybe I can figure out a spell to heat up this blanket...

He rolled over, his back to the room, trying to go to sleep. Once he managed it was only for a short period: nightmares pulled him under then shoved him out of sleep. He screamed and thrashed and fell off the couch, sobbing. "S--sorry, sorry, didn't mean to...!" He clutched the blanket, realizing he wasn't in his dorm. He hadn't woken anyone up. His apologies were meaningless.

The rain fell even heavier while wind battered against the house. He sat upright on the floor, shivering, hugging his knees, wishing he was back in his dorm. Safe. Warm.

Eventually he fell asleep only to wake up again with screams and sobs. It happened continually--a seemingly never ending loop of hell--until finally dawn came. He was even more exhausted than the day before as he trudged upstairs to get his clothes out of the wardrobe, eyeing the bed, debating whether or not to just curl up there. However, he was sitting on the couch when Pomfrey arrived.

"It was c-c-cloudy all night," he said when she came through the trapdoor. "Can I j-just stay here? I'm fine. I'll just sleep all day."

"You're eleven," she said, the same response as always. "Come on, you can get some sleep at the castle."

Remus did sleep a lot of the day. When he wasn't sleeping he ate the breakfast and lunch that Pomfrey brought him, as well as managed to do a little studying with the text book he had brought back with him. At about an hour and forty minutes before sunset, she took him back to the tunnel. There was a lot of wind today and no rain, though plenty of clouds; however with the wind blowing them he knew he wouldn't have another empty night.