Reckless - II

21 - There's No "i" in Denial - pt. 2

It's not why, but I'm trying to angle my way into asking what is actually wrong without pushing too hard. 

And no, I'm not stalling. It's the perfect time to talk about feelings.

"Sort of. It's an important case for my career going forward. And I want to make sure if you want to go, that you go and not cancel on me."

"Charli, I'd said I'd go. I'm not going to cancel. Why would I?"

She looks down at her feet and then finally looks up at me.

"Because she will back. And you might decide you don't want to go with me anymore."

And there it is.

I sit down next to her on the bed.

"Her coming back doesn't change anything with us." I reach for her hand. "I promise."

She scrutinizes my face and then looks down at our hands. She's not done yet, she has more on her mind. It's strange to see her struggle to speak when usually all she did is speak her mind.

"Okay, you're freaking me out." I squeeze her hand. "Please, say it."

"What are we?" She asks, "Are we chillin' or what?"

I look at her. "We're dating? Aren't we?"

She nods her head, "And you leave in a week. Will we be dating after?"

I stare at her. She doesn't want this to end. I can't stop the cheesy grin spreading across my face.

"Wait, is that why you've been off today..." I tease, "Are you trying to tell me...you like-like me?"

She narrows her eyes at me.

"Or is it that you really really like-like me?" I say with a smile.

She groans and lays back on my bed. "You're such a child."

"I'm not sure if you should be saying that about someone you like-like. It's a little weird."

She grabs me around the waist and pulls me on top of her. It surprises me and I squeal. My face is hovering a few inches from hers. She is smiling but I can see the worry in her eyes. I kiss her and then pull back to stare at her.

"I like-like you too. And I don't want this to end either."

"Good." She says. Then she reaches up and brushes my hair behind my ear. "Because I've always wanted to visit America. Now, I have the best excuse."

"I'd love that." I lean down and kiss her again.

She breaks the kiss and smiles at me.

"Does this mean I'll get to experience an American Prom? Like on TV?"

"Are you seriously asking me to Prom right now?" I laugh. "Prom is overrated. I went last year it was awful. I'm not going."

I start to kiss her again, but she covers my mouth with her hand.

"What? How could you not go? How will you win Prom Queen if you don't go?"

Her hand muffles my hysterical laughter. She pulls her hand away.

"You're out of your mind." I say, "No one would ever vote for me."

She gives me a puzzled stare. "Why not?"

"No one at that school knows I exist. I'm invisible, a nobody. And the ones who do know of me probably hate me. No, Aurora is the Prom Queen, not me."

Charli stares blankly at me.

I hadn't meant to bring her up. I'd been making a strong effort not to say her name. Charli didn't have to say it, but she always goes quiet whenever I accidentally bring her up. But it's hard not to, she's been interwoven in my life. All the good things or fun experiences I'd had this past year she'd been there. She'd also been there for the bad.