Surrender: The Flash (2)

23.4

We nod with a smile. "Ready?" Jay asks.

"Yeah." We watch as Cisco creates a portal, Jay rushing them through it.

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"Hello?" A voice asks through the phone.

"Hey, it's Olivia," I say. "We met through Oliver once?"

"Oh right. Hello. Well, How are you doing sweetheart?" He asks, a very prominent British accent poking out.

"I actually need some help," I tell him. "I've got some powers... and um- I'm losing control."

A couple hours ago...

I laugh at Cisco and Harry's bickering, picking up the books from the table in the Cortex. I then head into my workroom, setting the books down. When I pull my hands away, I see the flames on my fingers. I look at the books to see burn marks in the shape of my fingers. I take deep breaths as I try to calm my powers, trying to control them.

I shuffle around, looking for the pills Caitlin had made for me when I had first experienced symptoms of my bloodlust. I find them, in the process, I burn many things. I quickly take a pill, drinking some water. My powers start to slowly calm and I look around at the burned items all around my office. I look down at my fingertips to find them red, and paining.

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B A R R Y P O V

I was standing at Joe's place, to the side thinking. I glance at Liv, who's also sitting there, talking with Wally and Cisco, continuously glancing at her phone.

I sigh, slowly walking out of the house, sitting down on the steps. A couple minutes later, I hear the door click open, and turn to see Liv walking out. She sits down with me, turning to face me.

"Can't stop thinking about my dad's doppelganger," I tell her. "Seeing him, knowing that he's out there, that should've made it easier. It doesn't. It just made me miss him even more."

I watch as she sighs, not meeting my eyes. Her fingers start playing with the tips of mine, a gesture she had when she didn't know what to say. She did it a lot. I never noticed until we started dating and by now, I'd gotten used to it. Although her fingers felt unusually hot, I didn't notice it at the time, engrossed into my own emotions. She may have not known what to say, but the fact she was there to listen, was all I needed.

"We just won. We just beat Zoom. Why does it feel like I just lost?" I ask her.

"Because you've lost a lot in your life, Barry, more than most," Liv finally starts. "But... after this... all you can do, is try to move on. Keep the memories of your father in your heart but move on. Try to focus on something else in life."

"I just- I feel so hollowed out inside right now. I feel more broken than I've ever felt in my life," I explain. "I- I want us to move forwards... and If I'm ever gonna be worth anything to you-"

"What?" Liv asks with a slight chuckle. "Barry I don't care if you're the most perfect person in the world or if you're broken beyond repair. I love you... and you will always be worth everything to me. I don't want you to try to fix whatever's wrong because you think it'll help our relationship. I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry about our relationship right now."

She slid forwards, holding my hand, the other on my cheek as we both stared at each other. "I want you to find peace. Wherever you need to go, whatever you need to do, do it. And when you get back, I'll be here."

I nod as I look at her face, which had a small, sad smile on it. I love forwards, putting my lips on hers. I kiss her hard but slowly, hoping it's not our last kiss ever. When we pull away, we're both breathing hard, our faces flushed. "I love you," I tell her.

"I love you too, Barr," She says. "Always."

She smiles at me and then gets up from her spot. "Don't stay out too long. It's getting cold," She says as I smile at her concern.

"I'll be fine," I tell her softly.

"I know," She replies. "I just wanna cuddle with you later."

She smiles at me as I slightly chuckle. "I love you," She says one last time before walking inside.

"I love you too," I say, after the door closes. I get up from my spot, looking at her through the window. "That's why I'm so sorry. But I have to do this."

I run out, traveling back in time to the night my mother was murdered. As Thawne is about to kill her, I tuna after him, saving her. Afterwards, I watch a Barry from the previous time I traveled back in disappear. I look at mom.

"No," She cries.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," I say as she cries. "I'm not gonna hurt you. Okay? I'm not gonna hurt you. You're safe. You're safe now."