Just Breathe

Chapter Eight

Draco's stomach rumbled for the second time in ten minutes and he regretted not stopping for breakfast. He hadn't had anything in the apartment for days and if he wanted anything for dinner he was going to have to stop by the market on the way home. Soup and cold sandwiches again, he thought with a grimace. He hated not being able to cook; it made him feel like a child. The only time he got a decent meal was when he visited with Andromeda or Jason and Janey invited him over.

Speaking of Jason, Janey had sent him more notes to read over on broken bones and sutures. He knew Muggles had gotten along fine with their medical techniques but some of them seriously freaked him out. He was just beginning a paragraph about setting bones when a soft knock distracted him.

"Come in," he called out and when Harry stuck his head in the door, he immediately put his paper down. His brows were drawn together and he looked anxious. "Is everything okay? Mr. Thompson-"

"He's fine. I haven't seen him in a few days. Things have been relatively quiet with him. Um... I actually came to talk to you."

"Oh. Okay then, take a seat." He put his paper back in the notebook and he put it on the shelf behind him, running his fingers through his hair, hoping Harry wouldn't notice. He sat back down and faced him. "So, what's this about?"

"Well, your partner Janey got ahold of me the other day. She asked me to come see her about something and I figured it had to do with work. But she wanted to talk to me about what happened at Kingsley's office a while ago. And we did talk a little but I guess she could tell I was uncomfortable."

"Did you leave?"

"Yeah, but... I don't want you to get angry, but she told me to come talk to you. She said you knew what I was going through, and more than that, she said you'd understand." He said this with a sort of wistful hope in his voice and it almost broke his heart. He could see what the stress was doing to him. He offered him a smile and he nodded. He noticed Harry was tapping his foot and twirling his wand.

"Why don't you start by telling me how you're feeling now? I notice you're having a hard time sitting still, and I've noticed you doing it before, the tapping and the twirling."

"You have? Well, I guess even just talking about it makes me nervous. That's another reason why Dr. Talley sent me here. She figured since we know each other it would help." He rubbed the back of his neck and Draco smirked.

"Do you think it'll help?" he asked quietly, more as friend than a Healer. Harry must have noticed the slight difference as well.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Just... this whole thing, it makes me feel... I don't know," he paused and Draco could tell he was having a hard time getting his thoughts together and his words out.

"May I take a guess?" Harry nodded and Draco sat back in his chair. "You feel anxious often, don't you? Maybe a little jumpy. You might even feel the urge to draw your wand when someone walks too closely behind you. You may feel like people are staring at you. Well, more than they usually do," he joked, and Harry smiled a lopsided grin. Draco's neck warmed again

"Is it normal to feel like this? I feel like I'm going crazy."

"I bet you do. Anxiety is a normal state for some people. But it never has been for you, or not that you've noticed, which is why it's affecting you so much now."

"Is it a Muggle thing?"

"Well, it's an anyone thing, more or less. We both know what you've been through in your life, and how much of that was only just a short time ago." He could feel the heat crawling up his neck; he had caused so much of the torment in his life. Harry nodded at him, his ears a nice shade of scarlet as well. Draco cleared his throat and kept on. "Well, now that things have quieted down, your body, your mind, they're confused. You're still in fight or flight mode and you're keyed up. Your subconscious is just waiting for something to happen because that's all you've known for the better part of your life. You aren't used to the quiet yet."