Complexes (LGBT) (boyxboy)

chapter 22

"Eddie!" I whispered harshly, but he wasalready gone. I grit my teeth, grumbling in discomfort. He would pay for thislater. I had half the mind to get up and walk off too, but Casey knew I hadseen him and I didn't want to look like too much of an asshole, so I sEmilyedput as he came over. He sat where Eddie had been seconds before. I looked athim and honestly he looked awful. He was obvious tired.

His skin was paler thanusual. There were dark circles under his eyes; his eyes which were filled withworry. "This seat taken?" he asked. "Well you're already sittingthere," I said, sounding a little meaner than I intended to be."Right," he said, followed by an awkward silence. Despite the soundsof music and party-goers, to me in this moment it felt like I could hearnothing but the fire crackling. "So, how's Lucas?" he asked."Why don't you go ask him yourself?" I muttered. "Okay...I getit," he said.

He sounded so disheartened and exhausted. I actually feltbad. "Wait," I said before he got up and left, "He's fine."He stopped his movement and turned to me a little. "He is?" he askedhopefully. "Yeah. He's tough like that," I said, hiding a smile.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me," he said. I shook my head, my hatred fading awayonce I actually started talking and listening to him. "He doesn't," Iassured him. "Pretty sure you do though," he said.

It was so strangeseeing Casey be serious for once in his life.

I didn't blame him for thinking Ihated him though.

I was being cold towards him. I wasn't even mad at him forbeing violent since I wanted to do much worse to Ethan. I knew he didn't meanfor Lucas to get hurt with the whole drugging fiasco. I was jealous of hisfriendship with Lucas which was completely irrational but I couldn't help whatI felt.

I knew it wasn't fair though. "I don't hate you," I saidsincerely. "Then why are you being weird with me?" he asked. Icouldn't tell him the truth without telling him I liked Lucas, so avoided thetopic all together. "Forget it, man. We're cool," I told him."Really?" he asked. "Yeah, really. Now stop being sopathetic," I joked. He laughed, smiling, and it felt good to make a friendsmile. He was my friend.

I had to get over myself. "I'll try my best,"he said.

I looked away at our surroundings. Naturally my eyes landed on Lucas.He was talking to Erik, but I noticed him glancing over at us every now andagain. He knew I wasn't on the best of terms with Casey so it was probably alittle surprising that I was sitting here with him. "So, how are you doinganyway?" I asked, turning my attention back to Casey.

He avoided my gaze,looking at the fire and frowning. "As best as I can be after puttingsomeone in hospital," he said. "He deserved it," I said quicklyand bitterly. "I know but...never mind," he mumbled. "You'reworried you'll get caught, right?" I asked. He shrugged like he wasindifferent to the entire situation. "He never saw me. At least I don'tthink he did," he said. "How could he not have?" I asked. Therewas the look of guilt again. "I hit him from behind, knocked him out. Hedidn't even know I was there at first. I hit him from behind like some kind ofcoward," he spoke quietly. I could barely hear him over the music but Istill got what he said. "He was the coward. Not you. You did what I wantedto do but couldn't," I said. "Hmm...yeah...I guess," I saidthoughtfully. He sighed before rubbing his hands on his face and groaning infrustration.

He stopped, looking at me and I just listened. "I was out ofcontrol, man," he said, "I couldn't settle for hitting himonce...Once he was down I just..." He paused, and it really looked like hewas struggling. Casey didn't hurt people. He just didn't. He never had for aslong as I had known him. It just wasn't him, but this time, like he said, hehad lost control, which happens to the best of us. "I just kept hittinghim over and over...and over. I was just so mad at him..." He stoppedagain, shaking his head slowly and looking at the ground, "I don't evenknow if he's okay. I don't know if or when he's going to come back." Noone had heard anything about Ethan yet. I guess his friends didn't care enoughto find out.