Xander had never felt as empty and numb as he did in the back of that van.
They all knew this day was coming. Yet somehow, it felt so much worse than he could have imagined. He had tried to prepare himself, told himself that everything was going to be okay, that he wasn't going to be afraid.
But those thoughts went straight out the window the moment he was forced awake by unforgiving hands.
Even though Emi had experienced the Maze several times and was sadly quite used to such a situation, this time, she seemed to be handling it the worst.
Her bandages were falling off, confusing the others as they were sure Wilbur had done a good job yesterday. It was only Xander who knew she had to replace them herself that night, and it didn't seem as though she had dried off properly before doing so, as well as likely having wrapped them in a rush to get to bed.
She wasn't normally too nervous for the Maze, at least not enough so for it to be obvious. But that day, everyone knew exactly how afraid she was as she shook in place with a whimpering voice, frightened tears gently trailing down her pale cheeks.
"I can't walk fast...it hurts every time I take a step...h-how am I supposed to...what if someone corners me?"
"You're in this Unit for a reason, don't fret. You're far more powerful than anyone who would dare lay a finger on you."
Said Eden, in a soothing voice, sat right beside her.
"It won't matter how powerful I am if I can't even get away from someone. Bending my leg even just a little hurts like crazy, how am I going to climb any walls? Oh god, Eden, what do I do?!"
"Oh...Emilia..." Puled Eden, softly laying her head on Emi's shoulder, "I wish I could make you feel better...at least hold you for comfort...but those stupid men and their stupid handcuffs!"
Kalmin remained silent, eyes closed, head down, as if he were in deep thought, though the scowl upon his face could not be disguised.
He was hearing everything, and he hated it just as much as the rest of them. But he had to stay calm. Getting overwhelmed now would cause a much more difficult situation.
With great patience, Wilbur gradually shimmied across the van to sit close beside Xander, leaning his head back with a sigh.
"Hey, since we had that whole heart to heart thing yesterday..." He began, whispering quietly, his voice hidden under Emi's soft weeping, "Can I be honest for a moment?"
"Of course you can..."
Xander replied with a monotone voice, staring dead ahead, filled with paralysing fear and dread.
"...I'm terrified..." Wilbur hushed under a nervous chuckle, "These guys, they've done this so many times...I only survived the Maze once, man. I'm only alive cause I got lucky. But...fuck, all the stakes have been raised today, huh?" He chuckled with a morbid expression, "Xander, uh...if...if I don't step outta that building again today...just know that I thought you were a really cool guy."
Xander didn't answer. Even if he had felt up to it, he would have had no idea how to respond.
For a moment, it almost felt as though Wilbur were being selfish for saying such a thing.
Did he have any idea how Xander himself was feeling?
No, now he was being the selfish one. He couldn't just lose himself to his own self-pity. All of them in that truck, no, every person from every Unit must have been feeling the exact same way.
