Book of Imagines and One-shots

Those Thoughts

   You were sitting in your room of the bunker waiting for the boys to get back from a hunt. It was a simple salt and burn case so they just told you to stay behind on this one. Now, of course, you just shook your head and pretended to be okay with it. You even agreed with them, so you decided to try and relax but it didn't matter what you did, the little voice in your head just kept on coming back. This time it was telling you that you weren't good enough and that you needed to just leave. You were in the middle of making a pie for Dean so he would have something sweet to eat whenever they got home later that night.

   You finished making the pie and you put it in the oven to bake, that's when the voices got worse.

You should just leave Y/N don't want you here, heck they don't even wanna go on hunts with you anymore. You're a failure Y/N.

   You ran to your bedroom and slammed the door shut, punching the walls in your room. With every punch the less you heard the voices, and the less you felt the pang in your chest. Maybe the voices were right, they didn't need you. You were nothing more than a burden for them to watch, another mouth to feed, person to keep an eye on, a liability to them. Maybe you should leave, just pack up all of your belongings and disappear. Would they even come and look for you?

   "Of course they would," you answered out loud to yourself.

You're nothing special to them, Y/N. You aren't even good looking. Dean would never go for you. Sam pities you. Dean just lets you stay because he doesn't want you to go out and get yourself killed.

   You fall down to the ground in your room with your hands pressed firmly on your head, trying to drown the voices out. They kept on going; talking more and more with each minute, growing louder and louder. You began drowning in your own thoughts. Not sure of what to believe anymore.

   That's when you heard it, the sound of the bunker door opening and closing. Then there was the sound of approaching footsteps. Immediately, as fast as humanly possible, you stood up from the ground and tried to put yourself together as much as you could. You wiped your clothes off and began walking to the door. As soon as you open the door and walked out, you were face to face with Dean.

   "Hey, Dean. How was the salt and burn?"

   "Went good, better than expected. How's your day off been?"

   "It's been something. I cleaned and made a pie. OH CRAP! THE PIE!" You left Dean and darted off to the kitchen to take the pie out of the oven. Luckily you were just in time to get it out before it burned too much, just the edges were a little darker than you would have wanted.

   "Crap, I'm sorry you guys. I must've forgotten it was in the oven. I just lost my thoughts for a while there, and then you guys came home. I'm sorry." you placed the pie on the counter so it could cool down. Hopefully one of the boys will eat it.

   "Y/N, it's okay. What do you have on your mind, because you have never been like this before? You are always spaced out and forgetting things." Sam asked looking concerned at you and reaching out to grab ahold of your arm.

   "It's nothing Sam, I'm fine okay." you snapped on him a little bit and walked away back towards your room. You walked in and shut your door, walking over to the wall once more to try and get these feelings and emotions out. You punched the wall 3 times before you stopped. When you glance down at your knuckles and they were covered in blood. "Great," you thought to yourself. Then you heard a faint knock on your door. You opened the door making sure to keep your busted knuckle behind it so that Dean couldn't see it.

   "Hey, you are not okay, even I can see it; so what is wrong, Y/N. Talk to me." he walked inside your room and immediately saw the faint blood on the wall, then he looked at you making you feel even weaker and vulnerable. He reached his hand put to lightly grab your hidden wrist so he could look at your hand. "What did you do?"