Crimson Dreams

Stages of Grief

Everyone pitches in with cleaning up the mess we left during the war. Jax sits next to me. We talk amongst each other when Dad walks up to us. Jax pulls away from me, standing up. "I'll leave you two alone," He starts to walk away. "Son," Jax turns around, facing Dad. He looks down at me. He helps me up and stares at the two of us. "I saw how you protected her during the war, Hakan. You, also helped her out when she needed it. You two... are a damn good team," Dad speaks loud enough only for us to hear. "I approve," Our eyes went wide at his words. "You... do?" I ask, hesitantly. Dad nods. "You are welcome to be with my daughter," Dad shakes Jax's hand. Dad walks away, leaving the two of us alone. "I was not expecting that," I speak softly. I look at Jax, who seems to be deep in thought. I look up to the sky. It was dark, no cloud in sight. Stars were twinkling as a full moon shines brightly. "They both gave us our blessings, yet..." A soft breeze blows through. "We can't be together, can we?" I ask him, looking at him. Jax leans against the van we stood by. "I never thought I'd fall for someone who's on the opposite side of me. I never thought I'd be presented with a situation like this," Jax is quiet, which makes my heart quicken. "If we are on opposite sides, it can't work," I nod. "I understand," Jax walks up to me. "I don't want to be without you, Tazana," I smile sadly at him. "Neither do I, but... there's no way this could work with us on opposite sides. I mean, what can you do? Switch sides?" Jax grins at me. "Come on," He drags me away from the van. "Hey! Where are we going?" I question him. We walk upon Dad and Jax's Leader. "Jax, Miss Tava," Jax bows to him. "Sir, I would like to have your permission to leave Ketsueki Kama," Jax is still bowing. Dad and I look at him in shock. "Jax, what are you--" The leader silences me by raising his hand. "Stand up straight, Jax," Jax does as he's told. "I've been watching how you interact with Miss Tava throughout the war. And Mr. Tava has been telling me about your feelings for each other. You've been loyal since you were a kid, Jax. And I appreciate that. Therefore, as a show of thanks... I will grant you your wish," Jax and I gape at the leader. "Sir... thank you so much," They shake hands and the leader walks away. Jax turns to Dad. "Sir, I would like your permission to join the Tava clan," Dad smiles at him. "We would love to have you, Jax," Dad pats his shoulder before leaving. Jax turns to me. "You did that just so we could be together?" I ask him. Jax nods. "You're worth the change, Taz," I smile at him. "Thank you," He hugs me tightly. We pull apart slightly. He caresses my cheek as he stares into my eyes. Our lips met the next second. "Alright lovebirds! Let's get out of here!" Dad says in a humorous tone. I roll my eyes. We walk to the car hand in hand.

Dad, Jax, and I head to the hospital. Once we made it to Mom's room, it was empty. "Wait, this is the right room, right?" Dad asks, looking at the room numbers. I walk over to the nurse's station. "Excuse me. Could you tell where--" "Mr. and Miss Tava! Thank God. "You must go to Dr. Kai's office, right away," A nurse exclaims. Dad and I look at each other before heading to his office.

"Come in," Dr. Kai speaks as we knock. "Dr. Kai?" He turns around in his chair. His eyes widen. "Koi, Tazana. So glad you two are okay," He gives us a forced smile. "Kai, what's going on? Where's Mom?" I ask. Dr. Kai sighs as he gestures us to sit down. Once we did so, he takes a deep breath. "Two days ago, Asha went into cardiac arrest. We did everything we could, every extraordinary measure that could be taken, we did," I shake my head as I listened. "No. No, Kai... Don't you tell me--" "I'm very sorry, but despite everything... she passed away. I'm so - so sorry," Kai's voice cracks as he tells us this. I held my head in my hands. "no... Mom..." 

Jax and I sat in my room. He sat in my desk chair as I sat on my bed. "It's not your fault, Taz," Jax speaks softly. "Who's fault is it then?" I ask, looking up at him. "Mine," My eyes widen. "If I never set off that explosive..." He muttered. "Come here, Jax," He shakes his head. "This is my fault. I can't believe... God, Taz, I'm so sorry," I quickly got up and hugged him tightly. "Please, don't blame yourself, Jax," I whisper. He sighs as he hugs me back. "Why didn't I meet you sooner?" He asks as he nuzzles my neck. We look at each other before our lips met again and again. "Come on. Let's sleep," Jax whispers. I nod as He carries me to my bed.

"Tazana, please don't blame yourself. This wasn't anyone's fault. Your brother and I are okay. You and your Dad will be okay. And that boy... I can tell how much you love him, and how much he loves you. You will be okay, Tazana. I promise. I'll see you again one day," I watch as she disappears in the fog. 

I wake up suddenly to find Jax ready to jump out of the window. "What are you doing?" I ask him as I get out of bed. He sighs. "I can't do this. I know you hate me for what I did to your mom and--" "Jax, I don't hate you. This wasn't anyone's fault. You can't now. You're in this for life. Dad wouldn't let you off the hook as easily. You're a Tava now," He turns around to face me. "Besides, I'd only hate you if you didn't feel remorse," He smiles softly at me. "You're very persuasive, you know that?" I chuckle as he hugs me close. "She came to me... In a dream," Jax looks down at me, listening intently. "She thinks you're good for me," Jax chuckles. "I'm glad your mom approves," He kisses the top of my head. "Come on. let's go back to bed," Jax closes the window and leads me to my bed.