DeanandSeamus or whatever this is

Chapter 7 - He tastes like victory

Dean

Where ever I was, I wasn't supposed to be awake. Something was totally wrong, totally different. Why was it so dark? It was probably early in the morning. Slowly, I remembered the shape of my bed and that this was his apartment.

But... I wasn't alone. Seamus was laying next to him, sleeping as if nothing ever happened. I didn't want to let go right now, I didn't waant to lose this feeling of Seamus in his arms. Something that I would probably never experience ever again. For a few minutes, I just enjoyed being there. It felt strange, having Seamus next to him, his hands wrapped around my neck. But it also was all I ever wanted. Strange didn't have to be a bad thing.

But still, I would have to stand up sometime. I couldn't just lay here and pretend that Seamus loved me back. No matter what his grandma said, I knew that he didn't. It was one of the simple facts of the universe. Some things weren't meant to be, some things weren't meant to change. The apartment floor felt cold under my naked feet. I would very much rather be under his warm blanket. Next to my Seamus. Except that Seamus would never be mine.

I wrote a note to Seamus and pinned it to the fridge. I would leave, go to the library or find some other way to find out of that whole situation with Seamus. The easiest one would just be confronting him. But I couldn't do that, luckily, at least I thought that, Seamus hadn't found out yesterday. How dumb it had been of him to tell him all these things. As if I had thought that Seamus would respond to me, as if he would tell me that he felt the same. But he didn't. He never would.

I gave the officer my ticket, went into the stadium, my favourite teams scarf around my neck, chanting their hymn with all of these football fans. Everyone came, every one of these Muggles came here to forget. Not only to be happy, a fake kind of happy. They just wanted to live in their illusion for ninety minutes, happily. As if they could forget who they were, to get lost in the crowd of screaming humans. That was one of the reasons why football was my favourite sport. Because I stopped thinking. And stopping to think was one of the things I needed right now. "DEFENCE, DEFENCE!", the whole block where I was sitting screamed in unison. It was so beautiful and yet so strange that some totally different people could feel united in just this one game.

Then, I heard some people swearing, coughing, or saying how impolite it was. A second later, a familiar irish boy was sitting next to me.

"Don't you think I'll let you go to the most important game of the year alone!", he shouted into my ear. One thing was for sure. Seamus had never ever watched a football game before, only on TV. But he didn't really understand the rules.

"YEAH, DEAN, LOOK, THIS IS GOING TO BE A GOAL!!", he screamed, even though his team was on the other side of the field.

"That's the wrong team, Seamus", I whispered and all the sparkles left Seamus beautiful eyes. "Still, at least something is happening", he said, still a little bit excited.

"The point of the game is that every team wants to score and the one with the most points wins. Just like quidditch, but like without brooms and not in the air and with more rules", I tried to explain to him. He looked at me as if I just told him the earth was a CD.

"But that takes all the fun out of it, doesn't it?", he asked me.

Right in front of us, my favourite team, my favourite player, scored a goal and everyone around us jumped into the air. Including me. And in the middle of the chaos, a confused but happy Seamus.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?! THEY'RE STAYING IN THE LEAGUE!!! BECAUSE WE WON TODAY!", I screamed to him, and he was now jumping as well.

I had no idea what was in my head, whatever made me think that this was a good idea. The bad thing about football is that you stop thinking and my brain was the only thing that could have saved me from it.

Yeah, I kissed Seamus. It was probably just one of these out of the moment reactions, because I was super excited in the moment. Because I thought that anything was possible in that moment. And than reality came back, and struck me to earth. I hated gravity over everything. I was flying for a moment, I was free, finally free. I shouldn't be able to kiss my best friend and it shouldn't make me feel that way. And then I pulled myself away from him, finally realizing what I had done.

"I am so sorry, Seamus I didn't... I am so sorry", I whispered. The happiness on Seamus face froze, as he heard me whisper. As I ran away from him, what a coward I was. I couldn't even face my fears. But I had kissed Seamus Finnigan and that alone should make me feel better. At least he knew what was up, at least he knew how I was feeling. At least I hoped that.

Seamus

I had no idea what I was feeling. I should run after him, shouldn't I? But the giant muggle next to me stared at me, as if he would kill me if I moved. Probably because I would be in his way to see the game. Dean was more important than any other person, he should be. I shouldn't care.

"Hey, Mr. You can't leave the stadium while they're playing, you could be a terrorist or letting terrorists in", the muggle told me, holding me back. But I pushed him away, ran down the stairs to the gate. A police officer nodded at me, as I was passing him.

"He ran left", the police after shouted after me. Muggles were so nice people. It was raining, of course it was raining, it was always raining.

"DEAN!", I screamed, but the rain devoured my voice, he wouldn't hear me from here. I rain down the streets, every little bit of orientation I ever had was now gone. And I had never been good at finding things at all. Buildings, a library, a shop... I had never seen any of them, probably because I only bought things in wizard shops, something that Dean found incredibly funny. He found it funny that I was a helpless idiot. But I wasn't born on London's streets, I would get lost here. Screw getting lost here.

I had to find Dean, no matter what. He probably hated me now. He probably thought of it as a mistake, he didn't mean to... Dean had left me but I had been prepared. I wouldn't let him leave me ever again. If I would ever find him again. I needed to find him.

I hated not seeing him next to me, I hadn't seen him almost the whole last year and I had been so sick of missing him. I hated homesickness, it made me stay awake whole nights, made me dream every day of just one face.

Because, of course, you could be homesick for people to. I was homesick for Dean, every single moment he wasn't with me. Because he was the only thing, the only person that I could ever call home. No, Hogwarts was not my home. It never was, without Dean. Dean, my best friend. Dean, the football fan. Dean Thomas, who just kissed me. And in all of this mess, in everything, was me. Seamus Finnigan.

He should have listened to me, I should have told him the truth again. And the most important thing was that I would have to find him. I had no idea for how long I had been standing in the rain, but I was completely full with water. I needed to get somewhere, somewhere where it was warm and I could find a possibility to find him. Because where ever he went, I wasn't able to see him. Seeing... Seeing things...

Luna Lovegood. I would have to go to Luna Lovegood. She would know where to search for someone.

"Hey, Luna, nice to meet you", I knocked at her door and she came out, her glittery weird self as usual, but she wasn't alone. Sadly, it wasn't Dean next to her. "Hey, Seamus. That's Rolf, he helps me get my revenge for that nargles. Anyway, where's Dean?", she asked me.